I think I'm taking crazy pills!

Let's just start off by teasing my #4 most anticipated film (formerly known as Kathryn Bigelow's Untitled Osama Bin Laden Movie)

Now before y'all start complaining about how disappointed you are in this trailer, let me remind you this is a teaser. Of course this is only going to just give you a hint of what's to come. Hell, they even got to read classified documents in order to make the movie better. You think the producers are just going to throw all the cool shit into the teaser five months before the movie is out? Hell no! This film only has intensified my curiosity for this movie!

Onto some more somber news: Yet another movie has been pushed back. It's been announced today that The Great Gatsby (AKA Baz Lurhman Messes with an American Classic) has been moved from December 2012 to Summer 2013. Uhhhnnnn, this is the eighth movie to have been pushed back. I don't know why the movie gods have cursed me this year, but thankfully 2012 has been filled with a ton of great movies to fall back on. Seriously, I haven't been this satisfied with the first seven months of the year since 2008 when The Dark Knight and Iron Man stole the summer. I have to use more than two hands to count how many movies I've enjoyed this year - from The Dark Knight Rises to Friends With Kids to 21 Jump Street - it's been a fantastic year so far. And now we're slowly creeping up to Oscar season - the time of year when studios start to really pimp out their quality stuff in front of the Academy much like roosters do in order to get laid. And what better way to celebrate the Oscar mating season than by pimping PT Anderson's new flick, The Master!

39. The Master

Starring: Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Joaquin Pheonix

Director: Paul Thomas Anderson

Release Date: September 2

I really, really believed that PTA's last movie, There Will Be Blood, was the best movie of 2007. I don't know what it is about that movie, but I was completely enthralled. Maybe Daniel Day-Lewis had something to do with it, but the direction in that movie was flawless along with all that beautiful acting. And although PTA hasn't done a whole lot of movies in his long career, they've all been must-see movies whether you love them or hate them (ask anybody what they think of Magnolia and they'll certainly have an opinion on it!). So I am certainly thrilled to see another PTA production, but the movie's plot was too vague by my tastes (and are still a little bit) for me to warrant a spot on my original list. But now there's a couple of teasers out and the plot seems a little more comprehensible so here were are. Basically Hoffman plays an L. Ron Hubbard (Scientology!) type figure who starts a religion and brings a drifter (Pheonix) under his wing as his second-hand man to help spread his message. It sounds like Anderson might be covering similar territory and themes from There Will Be Blood, but I'm already fascinated to see how he handles these characters that I'm pretty certain I want to see this right away. This is most definitely Oscar bait - but the Academy might have too many active Scientologists to warrant a nomination, so we'll shall see! 

Another One Bites the Dust

 

With the tragic events in Aurora, Colorado last week, it's pretty safe to assume that violence in movies is getting picked apart by the media. And we've already seen some fallout from this. Gangster Squad has gotten moved back into 2013 because they had to re-shoot some scenes. If you watched the latest trailer (which has been pretty much pulled from the internet), you'll see a scene where the mob opens up fire from behind the movie screen in a crowded theater. It's completely understandable why they had to re-shoot. On the other hand, part of me just shakes my head thinking how absurd it is that the studio has to completely bail on what may be a very horrific scene but which may also provide insight into this idea of glorified violence. We'll never really know how that scene was going to play out, but it's too bad that we won't be able to see the true version of the movie. It reminded me of when Spider-Man first came out - there was a shot of the Twin Towers at the end of the teaser. But obviously 9/11 happened and at the time the teaser trailer showing the towers was a big deal, but I don't think too many people remember. Hopefully that's what will happen with Gangster Squad.

But in the meantime, I've had to dig through the trenches to find another movie to add to my list. It wasn't that hard, because just a couple of days ago, they released a five minute trailer for Cloud Atlas.  I purposefully avoided putting this movie on my most anticipated because A) I didn't know too much about the film except that it was a sweeping, fantasy/sci-fi epic and B) It was co-directed and co-written by the Wachowski brothers (of The Matrix fame). Now don't get me wrong, those two guys have certainly made/written some great movies (The Matrix, V for Vendetta) but they've also crashed and burned pretty stupendously with the two Matrix sequels and Speed Racer. So I've been hesitant to mention this movie at all, but I'm a sucker for well-put together trailers and I will tell you this trailer lasts more than five minutes, but it only felt like two. Plus any trailer that uses an M83 song is instantly one of the best trailers ever.

43. Cloud Atlas

Starring: Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Jim Broadbent, Jim Sturgess, Hugo Weaving

Director: Tim Tykwer, Andy Wachowski, Lana Wachowski

Release Date: October 26

I'll be damned if I know what's going on, but I think stories like these are hard to tell and hard to sell. The Fountain is one of those types of movies and honestly it's the best comparison I can think of for Cloud Atlas. I loved The Fountain a lot, so I'm hoping I'll fall in love with this movie. I'm actually anxious to read the book it's based on now that I'm pretty sure the subject falls under my wheelhouse of multi-storylines and sci-fi. The cast looks great too - there's so many great big names (Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Hugh Grant) and a solid cast of character actors (Hugo Weaving, Jim Broadbent, Keith David). I'm pretty stoked about this movie, but my expectations are a bit low because this could turn out to be a real big mess. Either way, I'll be punching my ticket for this movie in October.

Can You Believe It?

Ahh Hollywood, why do I even bother? Once again, I have to revise my damn list because some stupid jag-off executives in tinsel town decided that they'd rather have some movies come out next year because of "production delays" and the "Needs More Channing Tatum" excuse. C'mon, this is the time of year when I don't need this kind of crap. I will go Betty White on somebody if this happens again!

I think one of the movies on my list (Gravity) got delayed a while ago, but nobody bothered to tell me. Doesn't Hollywood know I like pimping out their stuff for absolutely zero dollars? At least let me in on the loop, guys! And then the thinly veiled excuse of 3D conversion for the new G.I. Joe movie (although it was really only a runner-up on my list, but nevertheless it was on my list) was really just an excuse to put more Channing Tatum in the movie because they kill him off in the beginning. I'm pretty sure the studio really just wanted to get rid of people's memory of the first G.I. Joe. It's almost as if the studio was embarrassed by that movie....hmmm.

So I respectfully offer up two more movies that I know for a fact are coming out this year because I've seen trailers and I believe in the power of the internet.


54. Safety Not Guaranteed
Starring: Aubrey Plaza, Mark Duplass, Jake Johnson
Director: Colin Trevorrow
Release Date: June 28
Yes this looks like a real hipster-produced, Noah Baumbach-esque depressing plot about weird and quirky people but hear me out! First - Aubrey Plaza, who is (let me take a phrase from the trailer) crushing it as April on Parks & Rec - one of best TV shows out there. And Second - Jake Johnson is also crushing it as Nick on New Girl - the best new TV show out there. Just go to Hulu and watch one episode and tell me you don't fall in love with that dude. He's so great. Aside from the cast I'm just really intrigued by the plot - I really hope it doesn't take a weird, depressing turn for the worst in the middle of the movie. I can only hope the movie, much like the trailer, is heartwarming and optimistic. It's pretty much the debut feature-length movie for both the director and writer, so who knows? I'm pretty excited for this movie despite some of it's hipster-indie attributes.


46. Magic Mike
Starring: Channing Tatum, Riley Keough, Matthew McConaughey
Director: Steven Soderbergh
Release Date: June 29
2012 is officially the year of the Tatum. He would have had 5 movies come out this year if not for G.I. Joe getting pushed back. So yes, I'm replacing a Tatum movie with another Tatum movie. But hear me out (I feel like I really have to defend my two replacement picks for some strange reason...) - this movie just looks like it's going to be a fun date movie. Or at least an interesting romantic comedy with a gender role twist! Plus Soderbergh is directing and although he can be a mixed bag, I'm confident he's found the right way to tell this story. To top it all off, the movie is somewhat autobiographical in that it's partly based off of Tatum's life as a stripper in Florida. I know all the ladies will be attending solely for the purpose of Tatum's hot bod, but I may just be a little more intrigued as to everything else going on in the movie. Although I really can't get around the fact that Magic Mike wants to be a custom furniture designer - how left field is that? I'd rather it be the stereotypical aspiring lawyer or doctor role than some weird ass hipster occupation. If anything it looks like it will be a fun distraction.

Most Anticipated Addendum

It's with great sadness that I've come to deliver bad news. Three, yes three (!), movies have been pushed back from 2012 to 2013. That doesn't really bode well for those movies (anything getting pushed back more than 6 months is a sign that the studio has absolutely zero faith in the movie). So, of course I have to get off my lazy ass and make sure to fill in the number 41, 30 and 29 spots on my list. If you really want to know how much I loathe doing this, this brief clip from the greatest movie of all time sums it up:



This time, however I made sure to pick movies that I know have no reason to be delayed. Well, actually, no I didn't, but whatever, there's a slightly better chance we'll see these three movies in 2012 as opposed to 2013. If this happens to any more movies, I might have to go fondle my sweaters. I mean, make fondu with cheddar.

The 50 Most Anticipated Movies of 2012: Not What You're Thinking

List: 50-46 | 45-41 | 40-36 | 35-31 | 30-26 | 25-21 | 20-16 | 15-11 | 10-6 | 5-1 | Runner-Ups: 10-6 | 5-1


I may have made a few miscalculations last year when it came to my top 5 (ughh what was I thinking with Cowboys & Aliens?). I may make them again this year, but I'll tell you what - all these movies have me super excited for next year. There's going to be a guaranteed blockbuster with the potential to draw record numbers, a possible surprise breakout hit, possibly the best romantic comedy next year, a somewhat risky war movie and finally, a movie from the man who knows how to make some of the most iconic movies in Hollywood. This will be a good year if nothing but these five movies fulfill their promises and live up to the hype. Man I cannot wait!

The 50 Most Anticipated Movies of 2012: Cracking the Top Ten

List: 50-46 | 45-41 | 40-36 | 35-31 | 30-26 | 25-21 | 20-16 | 15-11 | 10-6 | 5-1 | Runner-Ups: 10-6 | 5-1

The top ten awaits you after the page break. It's a glorious time to be a movie goer. Whether you love some original recipe or you'd rather kick it with extra crispy, Hollywood has usually got you covered. I hate it when people say Hollywood has nothing new to offer. But then they go ahead and pay to watch that superhero sequel and actually enjoy it. OF COURSE there's nothing original, but that's not the point of movies anymore. We know how most of the movies are going to end, but that doesn't ruin the experience we have while watching some amazing drama and action unfold before us on the screen. Or bust a gut because there were some really good fart jokes. Seriously, movies are an adventure and if they're told right, you can have some of the best experiences sitting back and being entertained. The next five movies are definitely not original and play to our comforting emotion of familiarity, but that doesn't mean they're not going to be spectacular or awesome. The Dark Knight, The Empire Strikes Back, Aliens and especially Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey were all sequels that were undoubtedly better than the original. Whether that will hold true to some of the movies is yet to be seen, but that doesn't get me less excited about it! I live for this stuff, man!

The Most Anticipated Movies of 2012: Familiar Territory

List: 50-46 | 45-41 | 40-36 | 35-31 | 30-26 | 25-21 | 20-16 | 15-11 | 10-6 | 5-1 | Runner-Ups: 10-6 | 5-1
 

We're almost down to the top ten! I've been trying to keep a diverse list - but sometimes there's just not enough of a certain genre. Thus, the romantic comedy has been neglected. Hell, even comedy itself is sorely lacking next year. There were a lot of great comedies last year - Bridesmaids was a wonderful surprise (even though it cracked my top 10 on last year's list, I just didn't expect it to be the funniest movie all year) and Horrible Bosses, Bad Teacher and Friends With Benefits were all great R-rated comedies. But next year? I counted about a dozen on my list and only two romantic comedies. I'm sure there's actually more than that coming out, but besides those two, they all look rather pitiful. Some may say the same of the two choices I've made, but to each their own, right? With that in mind, let's get this party started!

The 50 Most Anticipated Movies of 2012: Finally!

List: 50-46 | 45-41 | 40-36 | 35-31 | 30-26 | 25-21 | 20-16 | 15-11 | 10-6 | 5-1 | Runner-Ups: 10-6 | 5-1

I don't have much time to bother you with pretense - I need some sleep, people! So here's the next five!

The 50 Most Anticipated Movies of 2012: The Outliers

List: 50-46 | 45-41 | 40-36 | 35-31 | 30-26 | 25-21 | 20-16 | 15-11 | 10-6 | 5-1 | Runner-Ups: 10-6 | 5-1




 
I've always considered the second half of the top 50 my Must-See. They're the movies that I will, hands down, pay money for to go and check out without hesitation. Even if they're one of the worst movies of the year. There's some really, really big movies coming out next year that get my inner (and outer) geek all excited. The outliers are on this part of the list - they seem to be toss-ups, in my opinion, but I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt.

The 50 Most Anticipated Movies of 2012: Happily Ever After

List: 50-46 | 45-41 | 40-36 | 35-31 | 30-26 | 25-21 | 20-16 | 15-11 | 10-6 | 5-1 | Runner-Ups: 10-6 | 5-1





It's funny how all of the next movies on this list have some sort of magical or fantastical theme. I didn't pick it this way, it just happened! I love fairy tales - it probably stems from my childhood watching Nickelodeon's David the Gnome and Grimm's Fairy Tale Classics. Those were great shows, I'd spend Saturday mornings watching this stuff. I don't even know if there's such a thing as Saturday Morning Cartoons anymore. But Nickelodeon definitely had the best kids programming in the 90s. You couldn't beat all the young kids programs and if you were older, you'd watch Salute your Shorts or Hey Dude. I don't know if any of these movies will capture that same childhood nostalgia, but I can only hope.

The 50 Most Anticipated Movies of 2012: War all the Time.

List: 50-46 | 45-41 | 40-36 | 35-31 | 30-26 | 25-21 | 20-16 | 15-11 | 10-6 | 5-1 | Runner-Ups: 10-6 | 5-1






War seems to be the theme at this point on the list. I'm not really a huge action fan - don't get me wrong, I love me some gun-shootin' and hand-to-hand combat as much as any other self-respecting bro, but sometimes they're just so dumb. I can't get behind anything Jason Statham does now. He's pretty much pigeonholed himself into replacing Steven Segal. And he's a good actor - he would be awesome in a romantic comedy or a drama (The Bank Job was a great example of this). But Killer Elite? Blitz? There's mainly no soul to all these movies except for the next explosion or choreographed fight. Which is fine, it just doesn't float my boat. Despite my disposition to this genre, there looks to be some interesting movies next year that might just keep my boat floatin'.

The 50 Most Anticipated Movies of 2012: Destroying Great Works of Literature Edition

List: 50-46 | 45-41 | 40-36 | 35-31 | 30-26 | 25-21 | 20-16 | 15-11 | 10-6 | 5-1 | Runner-Ups: 10-6 | 5-1




Do you remember Treasure Planet? Disney's ill-fated attempt at taking a classic piece of literature and "modernizing" it for all those ADD-riddled children. "Hey kids? Remember that swashbuckling tale of adventure in the high seas? Now it's in Space! And there's robots and other cool shit! Yes, we're so cool we just swore! Take us seriously!" Now while I wouldn't say there's any re-imagining going on in this part of the list, there's certainly, some, uh liberties being taken with these adaptations. What exactly, are these, well uhdoi! Read to find out!

The 50 Most Anticipated Movies of 2012: Gangbusters

List: 50-46 | 45-41 | 40-36 | 35-31 | 30-26 | 25-21 | 20-16 | 15-11 | 10-6 | 5-1 | Runner-Ups: 10-6 | 5-1

The hardest part about selecting a lot of these movies is there's really no hard evidence has to how good these movies are. Trailers are hard to come by for movies that are more than four or five months out from release and even then you can't really estimate how good or bad it is. Remember the Terminator Salvation trailer? That was so good and the movie was so bad! Or a seemingly terrible trailer can mask the true greatness of a movie - Red from 2010 is a great example (that trailer made the movie to be some goofy Paul Blart-esque type action/comedy. And that movie was way better than that). So here's the next five movies - all with pretty stellar casts and great directors.

The 50 Most Anticipated Movies of 2012: The Countdown Begins!

List: 50-46 | 45-41 | 40-36 | 35-31 | 30-26 | 25-21 | 20-16 | 15-11 | 10-6 | 5-1 | Runner-Ups: 10-6 | 5-1




There's going to be some gargantuan movies next year and I certainly am excited for all of them. If 2012 is going to be the end of the world, at least there's going to be some good movies to watch. The beginning of the list sees some comedies that may just transcend from good to great - they have potential with all the talent behind them, but they could all just be duds, too. And remember, all these release dates are tentative, studios are fickle and are prone to changing their minds at the last second, so take these dates with a grain of salt. Let the countdown begin!

The Most Anticipated Movies of 2012: The Runner-Ups Part 2

List: 50-46 | 45-41 | 40-36 | 35-31 | 30-26 | 25-21 | 20-16 | 15-11 | 10-6 | Runner-Ups: 10-6 | 5-1

I'd like to call this list the mediocrity part of the list. So why even bother? Well, maybe mediocrity is a strong word, but most of these movies here are sequels to just okay movies. Most of them are sequels to box office hits, so it's no wonder why they got greenlit, but they all are questionable choices for studios and so they all have an air of intrigue surrounding them. I'll be taking a break for Thanksgiving weekend and starting Monday, I'll begin the real countdown!

The Most Anticipated Movies of 2012: The Runner-Ups, Part 1

List: 50-46 | 45-41 | 40-36 | 35-31 | 30-26 | 25-21 | 20-16 | 15-11 | 10-6 | Runner-Ups: 10-6 | 5-1




While 2011 had its moments, I still feel like it didn't live up to the hype that I had heaped upon it. Yes, I know that I am only letting myself down because of this, but I can't help myself. I love movie trailers, I love the anticipation and excitement movies bring. And while I think there's a lot of big time contenders that are sure to get me excited, there's a lot of movies that remain question marks as to how good they'll actually be. Starting next week, I'll reveal the top 50, but today and tomorrow I will be revealing the movies that just missed the mark.