2014 Most Anticipated Roundup

I've been absent for a while - writing up a most anticipated list can just be a time suck. And holidays and family, too! So I've been trying to get my footing for 2015 and so far I've had an awesome 14 days in the new year. I've even managed to see one of my Most Anticiapted 2015 movies already! More on that tomorrow.

In between all that time, I've managed to cross off more movies from my 2014 list and here's a summary of all those that I've seen!

Most Anticipated 2014: Pompeii

29. Pompeii (PG-13) - Runtime: 105 minutes
Starring: Kit Harington, Emily Brown, Kiefer Sutherland
Director: Paul W.S. Anderson
Writers: Janet Scott Batchler, Lee Batchler, Michael Robert Johnson
"I'm not expecting much else from this movie except for there to be some hot lava action" That was what I wrote when talking about this movie. It was listed as number 29, ahead of Godzilla! What was I thinking? Well, to be fair, this movie wasn't all that much and there really seemed very little to care about in this movie. I think I just need to come to terms with these historical, epic movies. I didn't like Gladiator or Troy or any other handful of sandal and sword drama/action flicks.

Pompeii plays out almost exactly like Titanic. Just without a crazy old lady with some million dollar jewel and Bill Paxton. Seriously - Kit Harington plays a Celtic slave Milo (I KNOW!) who, after wasting the first 15 minutes of the movie, finally gets sold down to Pompeii where we can finally see him fall in love with Emily Browning's character, Cassia, the daughter of the mayor of Pompeii (I know full well that's not his official title, but I'm too lazy to look up Roman political jargon). He woos her at first sight by snapping a horses neck (no joke! She practically fainted from her lady parts jolting her senses after that). But it's not to be! That dick Corvus (Kiefer Sutherland) comes from Rome to force his marriage to Cassia. All the while Milo gets beat up and beats people up.

If this sounds boring, well, it is. There's no real build up to the actual eruption and when it happens, it's so drawn out and dull. I mean, the goddamn volcano exploded and half the town is going nutballs, while the other half is just like, sweet, now I can take advantage of killing and looting this place. I'll be safe even though I've probably never witnessed something this horrific in my life.

But the movie never really accomplishes much - there's supposed to be a really strong bro-out between Milo and his slave-in-arms comrade, Atticus. In fact, he gets a fitting, epic death scene where he literally pumps his fist into the air and shouts "For those about to die, I salute you!" Didn't know the dude was an AC/DC fan.

And you would think after all this the actual city becoming ash and all the chaos it would make for some tense action, but it never really felt satisfying. A fairly disappointing movie that has a lot of bad acting (Kiefer Sutherland really hams it up here) and never any real good payoff, even at the end, Pompeii's worst crime is that it's just mediocre. This could have been fun and epic, but it's too slow and the characters are just so dull.

RATING: BURY THIS ONE IN ASH

Most Anticipated 2014: Maleficent

24. Maleficent (PG) - Runtime: 97 minutes
Starring: Angelina Jolie, Elle Fanning, Sharlto Copley
Director: Robert Stromberg
Writers: Too many people
There's been a dearth of recent fairy tale-fueled movies these past few years. Some good, some bad, but mostly they've all been just okay. A very hearty "meh" really. Maleficent really doesn't buck that trend. In fact, it's probably the most blasé of all of them. Sure, it's got some great visuals and a strong female lead, but the story is not that exciting nor are the characters that well developed.

The main problem is that Maleficent is supposed to be a cold hearted bitch. And of course when you bring more depth to an evil character like Maleficent, you're going to lose that edge. And that's fine - I like to see more nuanced characters like that. But instead of softening the edges a bit, the movie completely turns Maleficent into the hero and diminishes any sort of sense of maliciousness or fear whenever she's onscreen. Sure the music is menacing whenever she shows up to curse some people, but it's never really scary like I felt it should be. Pretty much 10 minutes (movie time) after she curses Sleeping Beauty (named Aurora) she regrets it and tries to take it back. It's pretty lame.

The real villain is Sharlto Copley's character - the boy who fell in love with Maleficent, only to betray her and cut off her wings - a very not-so-subtle metaphor for rape. And I think where the story was going was fine - but the movie takes this weird turn half-way through where it's nothing but Maleficent and Aurora having a fun time together in the forest. It's weird and dumb and I pretty much rolled my eyes throughout. I would have rather seen a movie that showed Maleficent's rise to power than see her heart grow ten times like in The Grinch.

There were some good things about the movie - namely the visuals and the beginning of the movie where we see Maleficent as a young fairy and her encounters with all these strange creatures in the woods. It's really awesome and the movie would have been better if they lingered more on the characters within those woods. Create a new mythology/fairy tale of their own. Instead, the film feels rushed when it fast forwards ten or so years so it can get to telling the Sleeping Beauty tale.

I know this is a PG Disney movie, but there's more terrifying scenes in the original Sleeping Beauty than this tame adaptation. The movie felt hollow and devoid of any real fun. It looks real pretty, but that's probably the only thing going for this movie. Angelina Jolie hams it up as much as she can, but she can't save the movie from wooden dialogue and flat characters.

Unfortunately we're not even close to seeing an end to this fairy tale trend. Maleficent is the third highest grossing movie this year worldwide and Disney has lined up a live action Cinderella for next year. Plus Warner Bros. has a Peter Pan movie too. While this may be just good enough for the kids, this one will be long forgotten - you're better off picking up the original animated Sleeping Beauty.

RATING: CURSES TO THIS MOVIE

Most Anticipated 2014: The Judge

37. The Judge (R) - Runtime: 141 minutes
Starring: Robert Downey, Jr., Robert Duvall, Vera Farmiga
Director: David Dobkin
Writers: Nick Schenk, Bill Dubuque
Long before RDJ was charming his way into geeks' hearts, he was more known for his dramatic roles. His most iconic role was Chaplin for which he earned his first Oscar nomination. Robert Duvall has known nothing but drama throughout his career and they're both at their A-game here in this compelling drama about fathers and sons. While The Judge won't win any awards this year, this is still a solid adult-oriented (aka Rated R) drama that are few and far between each year.

You'd be surprised at a lot of the similarities between RDJ's Tony Stark (Iron Man) and his character Hank Palmer in The Judge. Both are narcissistic assholes, both are wealthy, self-made men and they have daddy issues. The latter is probably more important in this movie. Obviously. So it's not that much of a stretch for RDJ to play this role, but he does it so flawlessly. As for Robert Duvall, his character is a stubborn, old-timey somewhat of a jerk of a father and is played brilliantly. And after losing his wife, he gets accused of killing a man he put away thirty years ago.

As the movie progresses and you learn more about the history behind the Palmer's and their overbearing father, it becomes clear that the movie has its strengths and weaknesses. Mostly the family drama and the amazing chemistry between Duvall and Downey are the most engaging and thoroughly enjoyable parts to this movie. Watching them duel - as father and son - is simply fun to watch. There's a lot of heartache and anger in these performances and it's as gut wrenching to watch as it probably was for these two men to perform.

However, the main thrust of the plot - the crime and subsequent trial - all fall a little flat. Billy Bob Thornton comes in on his high horse and demands justice but he's clearly an asshole even though he would be the protagonist in any other courtroom drama. And the actual trial gets a little muddy and convoluted for its own good - the "reveals" of what really happened are not all that exciting. You kind of wish that Judge Palmer would just confess and get back to shouting at his son some more.

But aside from the courtroom, there's a lot to love in this film. The supporting cast is great - Vera Farmiga, Vincent D'Onofrio, Jeremy Strong and Dax Shepard all have a chance to shine. The film may be a bit too long (it's almost two and a half hours!) and at times it feels a little slow, but the performances and the characters outweigh the negatives. At first, when I was leaving the theater, I felt like a lot of this hit home for me - going back from the big city to a small, rural town. Having confrontations with your father and facing your ex-girlfriend. But I realized most of that doesn't really hit that close to home (maybe a little bit of going back to a small town) and I credit the movie for making me feel that way - there's a lot of emotion throughout the film and it must have sunk into my thoughts. It's a very moving film and certainly worth seeing for the performances alone.

RATING: I JUDGE THEE WORTHY OF A MATINEE

Most Anticipated 2014: Review Roundup

18. Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (R) - Runtime: 102 minutes
Starring: Mickey Rourke, Josh Brolin, Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Director: Robert Rodriguez
Writer: Frank Miller

Too little, too late. What a disappointment this movie was. The original Sin City was pretty good (at least from what I remember) and I was hoping that the sequel would be just as gritty and dark and a bit too crazy just like the first one. Instead the movie doesn't have a compelling story to tell among the three different vignettes. The characters themselves are flat and don't have any depth beyond taking revenge and being evil. JGL's character is the most likeable and you root for his character, but he's a very small part of the movie where his story could have been way way more because of the potential there. Plus the acting was all wooden and the film noir-narrative just comes off as desperately trying too hard unlike the first movie when it felt a little more fresh. This was one of the worst movies I've seen all year.
RATING: THREE HAIL MARYS WILL DO FOR WATCHING THIS MOVIE

58. The Maze Runner (PG-13) - Runtime: 113 minutes
Starring: Dylan O'Brien, Will Poulter, Kaya Scodelario
Director: Wes Ball
Writers: Noah Oppenheim, Grant Pierce Myers, T.S. Nowlin

Young Adult movie adaptations are all the rage now and most of them are pretty terrible. Luckily, The Maze Runner is compelling (and good) enough for a movie. The Lord of the Flies aspect of boys trying to run a civilization while simultaneously being prisoners is rich enough. The premise is pretty absurd and by the end of the movie, you'll have more questions than answers, but it was exciting and the characters were fairly well-written enough that you'll enjoy the movie. Much like the main character who doesn't know what the hell is going on, the audience is along for the ride without any idea where it's headed. Which works for this movie. And it doesn't waste any time as things move quickly from one action scene to the next. It was good enough for me to go out and get the first two books to read! Consider that a success!
RATING: A LABYRINTHINE GOOD TIME

48. The Equalizer (R) - Runtime: 132 minutes
Starring: Denzel Washington, Marton Csokas
Director: Antoine Fuqua
Writer: Richard Wenk

Who knew this 80s television show remake would make for a compelling, very violent and visceral movie? Denzel is a badass and he shows it here as an ex-CIA agent who kills off part of the Russian mob operating in America. The movie starts off slow. And I mean slow - but it works in this movie - you get to know Denzel's character and who he is and what drives him. And then when the fury gets unleashed, it's a little shocking. There's a lot of crests and falls in the movie and it all leads up to a Home Alone-esque (no joke here!) takedown of hired goons at the Home Depot. This movie was awesome - it's gritty and violent and disturbing. My only quibble is that there are no female characters to speak of in the movie. Sure, there's the heart of gold hooker Denzel is saving, but she's barely in it and Melissa Leo plays a former associate of Denzel's, but she has limited screen time. It's pretty sad. But aside from that, this movie just works. It's really Denzel that elevates the material above just a revenge flick.
RATING: AN EQUALLY BADASS AND SOMBER TIME AT THE THEATER

44. This is Where I Leave You (R) - Runtime: 103 minutes
Starring: Jason Bateman, Tina Fey, Jane Fonda
Director: Shawn Levy
Writer: Jonathan Tropper

I will freely admit I am a sucker for ensemble family dramedies. The Family Stone, Dan in Real Life, The Way, Way Back - I just really enjoy seeing family dynamics in certain settings. In this case, the Altmans patriarch passes away and his final wish is for everyone to sit shiva for one whole week. Of course this family is as dysfunctional as any other movie family and so lots of drama and lots of comedy ensue. And boy is there a lot of drama - every single character has a lot of baggage that they bring to the table and Jason Batman is in the center of it all. His life is a wreck and this week at home will change his life for the better and maybe for the worst as well. All the performances are great, including Adam Driver as the baby boy of the family who plays a womanizing, going-nowhere twenty-something. There's a lot of sweet and bittersweet moments and some that hit a little too close to home for me. But it's all endearing and funny and I loved every minute of it.
RATING: THIS IS WHERE I SAY GO SEE IT

28. Gone Girl (R) - Runtime: 149 minutes
Starring: Ben Affleck, Rosamund Pike
Director: David Fincher
Writer: Gillian Flynn

I have no clue why David Fincher's newest movie wasn't higher on my list. He hasn't directed a bad movie at all (and yes, I'm including Alien 3 in that discussion) and as far as mystery/thrillers, he's probably the best bet you can get (Zodiac still sends chills down my spine. Every. Damn. Time.). Partnering up with Ben Affleck, another favorite of mine should have landed this movie in the top 10. But I think I just didn't put two and two together. This movie is simply stunning. From the direction and cinematography, to the haunting and beautiful soundtrack to the performances (especially Ms. Pike) - it all seems so effortless. Yes, I read the book before watching the movie, but Fincher really knows how to turn something so beloved into something that seems so original on the screen. No doubt the book is better, but the movie is so good that it stands on its own ground. And the last half an hour is captivating and probably one of the most visceral and thoroughly engrossing endings I've seen all year. This is as close you can get to near-perfect for a movie. I loved it and loved it more the second time I saw it.
RATING: GO ON GIRL AND SEE THIS MOVIE!

Most Anticipated 2014: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

25. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (PG-13) - Runtime: 101 minutes
Starring: Megan Fox, William Fichtner, Will Arnett
Director: Jonathan Liebesman
Writers: Josh Applebaum, Andre Nemec, Evan Daugherty

Let's just get this out of the way: I'm a huge, huge Ninja Turtles fan. Much like most people my age, I grew up with the cartoon every Saturday morning. And like most people my age, I have very strong opinions about pop culture from my childhood. We're reaching almost catastrophic levels of nostalgia for the 90s and it's not surprising that the Ninja Turtles have gotten the "reboot." Although I use that term loosely. Because what most people my age have to know is that the Ninja Turtles never really went away. They just evolved with each new generation - apparently the new cartoon that started last year is totally great and the series from the 2000s was pretty good too. So this movie is mainly for a newer generation of Turtles fans. Sure, there's plenty of fan service to us oldies, but mainly this movie is for the kids.

And for the most part, this kids movie is fun and frenetic like a Ninja Turtles movie should be, albeit with several flaws. It gets the Michael Bay treatment - big, loud set pieces and explosions with lots of lens flare; good god there's a lot of lens flare! - but it's far better than anything Michael Bay has directed with the Transformers sequels. The movie is an origin story and it starts out painfully slow - there's a voice over and animation sequence telling us how the turtles came to be who they are - but really, this could have been shown or told throughout the whole film. Instead we're treated to this awful narration and the turtles don't even show up until about 20 minutes into the movie. If there's one huge complaint it's that this movie didn't spend nearly enough time showcasing and indulging us with enough turtles!

The movie's big focus is April O'Neal - the intrepid and ambitious reporter who's looking to get that big break. And while it's nice that the movie wanted to focus on April, it would have been a lot better had the movie just focused on the turtle characters and had them coming together as a team. April has her cameraman sidekick - played by Will Arnett - to chum around with but their relationship is really not worthy of screen time. He has a creepy crush on her because he looks so old next to her and really he doesn't have much to do in the movie except provide transportation. But I digress - for what little we do get from seeing the turtles, it's pretty fantastic. There's the usual hijinks and immature ninja-wielding fun that they indulge in and it's great.

I thought William Fichtner was going to be great playing the villain - but his character is so dull and boring in this movie about Ninja Turtles that it's hard to muster any sort of emotion. And Shredder was a complete badass but has absolutely no depth - he's just an evil samurai dude in a metal suit. It's unfortunate that the movie is this shallow, but I guess I shouldn't have expected too much. This movie should have cut the beginning 20 minutes and spent a good 30 minutes developing the characters more. More of Leo and Raphael fighting and Donatello being a nerdy brainiac. More Michelangelo being silly. More Shredder background.

This could have been a better movie. With that being said, it's still better than I expected. I really thought I would hate, hate this movie from what I saw in the tonally-dark trailers. But it's light hearted and it really is more like an extended episode of the show. It's just too bad they couldn't find a better focus for the movie besides April and her sidekick.

Rating: Radically mediocre!

Most Anticipated 2014: Guardians of the Galaxy

5. Guardians of the Galaxy (PG-13) - Runtime: 121 minutes
Starring: Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, David Bautista, Lee Pace
Director: James Gunn
Writers: Nicole Perlman, James Gunn

Wow. Just wow. Totally blew up my expectations. I think as time went by this year, Guardians became increasingly more exciting to me, especially after a couple of somewhat disappointing movies in my top 5 (Noah, X-Men). And after all the amazing reviews and good word-of-mouth, Guardians is most definitely the movie to see this summer. It took us 3 months to get to an event-level movie, but no doubt Guardians lives up to and exceeds all the hype. James Gunn and Nicole Perlman have crafted a fun, weird and funny sci-fi action flick. Plus all the Guardians are written so well (yes even Groot, who can only say the phrase "I Am Groot!") and they have a nice progression and arc during the movie.

Peter Quill (the about-to-be-a-household-name Chris Pratt), a lone bounty hunter/scavenger who got abducted by aliens when he was a boy, finds an orb of significant value and power, although he doesn't know it at the time - he's just looking to unload it for money. Along the way back to cashing the orb in, Gamora (sci-fi vet Zoe Saldana) is sent to get the orb from him by the villain Ronan and also Rocket (the racoon) and his partner Groot (the tree) find Quill to be a good bounty, so they decide to try and capture him. Well, they all cause a ruckus and are soon sent to space prison where they meet the fifth member, Drax, a maniacal warrior with revenge on his mind (Ronan killed his family). They band together and finally figure out they need to stop Ronan. Hijinks ensue.

The movie starts off great - we see Peter as a boy getting abducted right after seeing his mom pass away from what I'm guessing is cancer. She made him a cassette mixtape with some awesome tunes and cut to the present day where we see Quill dancing around some ancient ruins to Redbone's Come and Get Your Love and it is perfect. Plus it sets the tone for the rest of the movie - you know you're in for a fun time and Quill is not your typical type of hero. Although he's selfish and a ladies' man, deep down he's still wounded from his mother dying and getting abducted. Gamora is the "daughter" of the Thanos - the intimidating villain behind the evil Ronan - but really he killed her family and took her in and trained her to be the galaxy's deadliest assassin. Needless to say, she has daddy issues. Drax is out for revenge like I said earlier and Groot has his moments as the sidekick to Rocket - who is the heart and soul of this movie. Voiced by Bradley Cooper, who's nearly unrecognizable, deserves many kudos for really getting into character.  He is a genetically-modified Racoon who's been tortured and experimented on too many times and he sees life as nothing but unfair and awful. And he steals every scene he's in.

Rocket's humor and disregard for others is what makes this movie tick. Not only is there an awful lot of action, but the jokes and humor are extremely funny and entertaining. From Drax's quirk of not really understanding metaphors ("It's not over my head, because I'm too quick, I would catch it) to Rocket's pranks - the prosthetic leg bit was hilarious. I could go on and on - but I don't want to spoil the fun. The movie has a great climax and I can't wait to see what the Guardians will get up to next!

This was by far my favorite movie this summer and possibly the year so far. It's just fun, sharply written and all the characters are brilliantly portrayed. The action is amazing and it's just a blast. Plus the music in this movie is fantastic - I love the funky, R&B mix that Peter Quill holds dear to his heart! This is a definitive must-see movie!

Rating: A Funky Good Time!

Most Anticipated 2014: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

21. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (PG-13)
Starring: Jason Clarke, Andy Serkis, Kerri Russell, Gary Oldman
Director: Matt Reeves
Writers: Mark Bomback, Rick Jaffa, Amanda Silver
Runtime: 130 minutes

I was not expecting Rise of the Planet of the Apes to be good, let alone really good. It was a surprisingly fresh take on the series and essentially rebooted the story. Dawn manages to not only progress the story forward in a fun and inventive way, but also becomes a better movie than the first. Aside from the ridiculous sounding title (and shouldn't Dawn come before Rise?), DotPotA is a very somber tale about fathers and sons and survival.

Set 10 years after the events of the first film, Jason Clarke plays Malcolm, one of the leaders of the human colony in San Francisco who's looking to get power from the dam located in Ape City (I don't think that's the official name, but that's what I'm calling it!) - home to Caesar's growing family of apes. Naturally, there's conflict and things escalate to their inevitable climactic end. I found the story entirely engrossing as much as the characters. For a summer action flick, there's a lot of quiet moments and there is quite a lot of subtitles in the film. The apes all use sign language and it's not distracting at all. In fact, the first 15 or 20 minutes showcase the apes hunting a herd of deer in the forest and it's pretty awesome! You get to know the apes before the humans and you start to see parallels between Caesar's family and Malcolm's.

There's so much to love about this movie - from the fantastic CGI (seriously, those apes look magnificent!) to the incredibly outrageous action sequences (APES WITH GUNS ON HORSEBACK!). Plus the cinematography is awesome - there's a lot of amazing one shots where the scene doesn't cut back and forth, but pans around. It's a fine piece of cinematic work. But aside from all the beautiful aesthetics of the movie, there's some great characters. Caesar is the wizened tribal leader and you actually really see his story develop as he tries to handle the human crisis as best he can while maintaining order within his tribe. And Malcolm is just as determined to make sure his colony of humans gets to survive. They share the same goal but circumstances and short-sighted individuals on both sides ruin their plans.

I'm excited to see where this franchise is heading after the ending of the film. This is one of the best films this year - if you at least enjoyed Rise of the Planet of the Apes, you'll certainly enjoy its sequel. It manages to raise the stakes while keeping the characters firmly grounded in reality. I thought it was nice to see that there wasn't a black and white, humans bad, apes good position. Instead it manages to make things a lot more grey - there is a villain in the movie, but aside from that one character, everyone seems to act for not only their own interests but those of their fellow species. It's captivating and sometimes a bit insane, but it never becomes dull or boring. A definite must see!

RATING: BANANA REPUBLIC IS JEALOUS THEY DIDN'T GET IN ON PRODUCT PLACEMENT FOR THIS AWESOME MOVIE

2014 So Far in Most Anticipated Part 5

I've concluded that I've watched a lot of movies this year. I've seen 24 out of the 60 movies on my list. Not bad - I've only missed 9 movies that have come out (and frankly a few of them I'm trying to avoid now. What the hell was I thinking with Pompeii?). 2014 has kind of been a bummer - not only for there not being any OUTSTANDING movies, but the summer has been ho-hum as well. Sure, I've had a lot of fun watching most of  these movies, and I think I'll enjoy rewatching some of them, but there hasn't been an "OMG I want to take this movie behind the middle school and get it pregnant" moment I've had this year. There's one movie that comes close - and it wasn't even on my list! (more on that later). But here's the four best Most Anticipated movies I've seen so far this year.

13. Veronica Mars
This is the very definition of a miracle. Veronica Mars was supposed to be buried after season 3. But thanks to the internet and a very loyal fanbase (including myself), a movie was made. And Rob Thomas didn't just make sure he made fans of the show happy, he made sure he made a engrossing, taught thriller about a strong-headed woman who goes back home to help her ex-boyfriend beat the murder rap. Old friends and characters show up while in the background things are getting set up for a very real chance at a sequel. There's great moments of humor and wit and a lot of fan service. But the fan service doesn't distract if you're unfamiliar with Veronica and the city of Neptune, California. It's a tight script and edited so well. Veronica is simply charming thanks to Kristen Bell's impeccable performance and great writing. She's the kind of female lead that most movies should aspire for. I think what I really loved about this movie was the underlying stench of corruption and a community unraveling because of it. Veronica comes back and seems to unveil this mess and I would love to see how she plans on fixing the town. Because that's the direction the movie is headed - I just hope we'll get to see it.
RATING: OUT OF THIS WORLD AMAZING

9. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
9 movies in and Marvel has shown no signs of slowing down. They're turning into Pixar - I honestly don't think they've had a bad movie - maybe a couple of "okay" movies - but bad? Nope. And the new Captain America movie might just be as good, if not better than the Avengers. I certainly thought the direction and epicness of this film pushed the story forward in a fresh direction. SHIELD has been disbanded at the end of the movie and who the hell knows where it'll go from there? I think Captain America could have been the most boring character out of all of the Avengers - but the decision to make this more like a conspiracy thriller/action film was smart. Once the movie kicks into high gear after the first 20 or so minutes, it's nothing but non-stop. The movie is sharply written and it's a perfect progression for Steve Roger's character. And the addition of Falcon as Captain's new buddy is solid. Plus the Winter Soldier is a perfect foil for the Captain. And talk about how eerily similar the plot has resonated with the whole NSA scandal is icing on the cake. This was big and fun and probably the best non-summer released summer blockbuster this year.
RATING: CAPTAIN OBVIOUS SAYS THIS WAS GREAT

3. 22 Jump Street
There was a little bit of hesitation on my part that this wouldn't live up to the first one's clever shenanigans. I've been disappointed with comedy sequels before (I'm looking at you, Hangover Part II), but I trusted Phil Lord and Chris Miller to deliver another meta-humor infested sequel. And this one didn't disappoint! There's so much going on in this movie - it's just as funny and painfully aware of itself and Tatum and Hill are the perfect odd couple again. They even spoof themselves during the end credits - who wouldn't pay money to see 29 Jump Street: Sunday School? And don't forget to stay until after the credits too - there's a really funny joke that may not be the best one in the film, but it made me giggle uncontrollably. The movie does start off a little slow - Jenko and Schmidt are two regular detectives who really don't know what they're doing - and the movie doesn't really start to shine until they go undercover in college. And the movie makes it clear that practically no one is falling for their disguises this time. Ice Cube returns and has a very funny, very appropriate freakout at a parent's weekend lunch - it's simply amazing. I hope the filmmaker's call it quits from here - there's just nowhere to go with the jokes. But what an amazing movie to end on - certainly the funniest movie this year!
RATING: SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY ALREADY

17. Edge of Tomorrow
Who knew that a Tom Cruise sci-fi flick would end up being my favorite movie so far this year? While the marketing for this movie wasn't the best (didn't we just see a sci-fi action flick with Tom Cruise last year?), Edge of Tomorrow was so clever and enjoyable that it's worth repeat viewings. The whole premise of repeating the same day (or, in this case, days) has been done before - but never really like this. It's fun to see Tom Cruise's character go from some schlub PR guy to trained alien butt-kicker. And this is why it's probably better than most of Cruise's action flicks - he's not playing some super-soldier or assassin - he's a coward and a jerk throughout the movie. That's what Cruise is really good at playing and he's great. And the supporting cast is fantastic - Emily Blunt is such a badass - she's not a damsel in distress nor is she in need of some affection. She's a soldier and has some awesome moments in the film. The film is more grounded in character than you would think - it's a pleasure to see Cruise's character grow up and into a decent, self-sacrificing human being in this film. There's a lot of great action and design, but the best moments are when he's reliving the first hours over and over, trying to figure out how to get out of the war. It's fun and just writing about this movie makes me want to see it all over again!
RATING: REPEAT VIEWINGS, PLEASE

2014 So Far in Most Anticipated Part 4

Now we're getting to the better movies that I've seen this year! Yes, we had to wade through the drek to get to the good stuff, but doesn't that just make you appreciate these movies more? Just writing about them and thinking more about these next eight movies has me excited to rewatch.

40. The Other Woman
Surprisingly one of the funniest movies this year. It's actually pretty awesome to see two strong female actors headline a movie. It's rare, but you would think after the success of this movie Hollywood would at least try to make some more female-oriented movies. Cameron Diaz and Leslie Mann make the perfect odd couple - they have good chemistry and the amount of physical jokes surprised me. Unlike Melissa McCarthy - whose extremely funny talents waste away with such awful fat jokes and weirdo characters in most of her movies (Identity Thief, Tammy) - Diaz and Mann are smart, fun ladies who are in control the whole movie. I was surprised at how just enjoyable this film was - the script was good - but the actresses here nailed every scene. While this one won't win any awards and it may not go down as one of the best movies this year, it's still a solid, fun comedy that finds a lot to love between Diaz and Mann's fierce friendship.
RATING: WATCH THIS TO SUPPORT FEMINISM AND FUNNY PEOPLE

30. Godzilla
Wow. This was everything I had hoped it would be. Godzilla smartly avoids the regular trappings of a monster movie and instead opts to tell a tale of survival when disaster strikes. People keep comparing this movie to Pacific Rim but aside from the giant monsters, these two films couldn't be more different. Where Pacific Rim revels in battles between giant robots and monsters, Godzilla is intent to keep the focus on the humans. Pacific Rim was awesome but don't let that temper your expectations with Godzilla. The film does a magnificent job of ratcheting up the tension with each scene. And the buildup to the climactic battle was expertly crafted. There is a scene that gave me the spooks both times I watched where two soldiers are crossing a bridge at night. And then you slowly realize that one of the monsters is hiding underneath. It sounds ridiculous but the way it's shot and the slow realization really creates a great sense of dread. Speaking of the way the movie was shot - there are some remarkable moments in the film - from the desolate and abandoned Japanese city to the moment when the special ops guys go floating through the storm clouds, leaving red vapor trails as they descend. It's a visually stunning movie and Gareth Edwards certainly has a bright future ahead of him. This is a definitely must see movie and worth seeing on the big screen.
RATING: IMMENSELY SATISFYING

1. X-Men: Days of Future Past
My most anticipated movie of the year may not have earned the best movie so far this year moniker, but it's a really good follow-up to the highly enjoyable X-Men: First Class. The film does a wonderful job setting the audience up for what's at stake: in the near future, the mutants face extinction in the wake of genocide by the hands of "normal" humans and their robot assassins: The Sentinels. It's up to Wolverine to be sent back to the past in the 70s to stop the unfolding events from ever starting. And Magneto and Charles Xavier have to team up to save the day after splitting up at the end of the last movie. While at first I didn't thoroughly enjoy the movie, thinking about it I've been itching to watch it again. Once again, Fassbender and McAvoy do a fantastic job and Wolverine is his usual grumpy self - but Evan Peters steals the show here as Quicksilver, a mutant with supersonic speed. The one scene where he pretty much single-handedly rescues Magneto from the depths of the Pentagon is probably the highlight of the film. But there's a whole lot else to love in this film - Peter Dinklage as the creator of the Sentinels, Mystique kicking ass the whole time, the stadium being flung up in the air in the climactic ending, seeing a rebooted X-Men franchise where pretty much The Last Stand's whole plot gets erased! It's a doozy and the end credits scene sets up an even bigger threat for the X-Men: Apocalypse, who's pretty much invincible. I must admit, this was a great movie and I can't wait to see where they'll go next!
RATING: NOW IS THE DAY TO SEE THIS MOVIE

22. The LEGO Movie
After seeing the trailer, I just knew, knew this was going to be great. It's funny and lightning sharp with witty and clever humor. But the movie isn't afraid to be childish and unabashedly dumb sometimes. Chris Pratt is the perfect voice for the lead - Emmet Brickowski and the rest of the voice cast is phenomenal too - Elizabeth Banks, Morgan Freeman and of course, Will Arnett as Batman. Perfect. The film goes into and unexpected, but very awesome direction in the third act. It's a little weird, but completely cool. I won't spoil anything, but I loved it. And this is a movie worth rewatching because there is so much going on and little bits of dialogue and visual gags that you'll miss the first time around. As much as I loved this movie - it is quite ADD - it can get overwhelming at times and while I enjoyed that aspect, it can get tiresome for others. But aside from that, the movie is endlessly fun and all the meta humor is perfect.
RATING: BATMAN SAYS GO SEE THIS MOVIE

2014 So Far in Most Anticipated Part 3

Five more movies that are worthy of your time. While I did enjoy these movies, I don't think they're going to land on my best of list at the end of the year. There's nothing particularly bad about these movies, they just didn't grab me like some others did so far this year!

4. Noah
I wouldn't necessarily call this movie bad, but it's more of a disappointment. I had really high expectations for Aronofsky's take on the biblical flood. And while the movie had an amazing scope and epicness to it, I thought the more intimate, character-driven moments in the film to be lacking. Aronofsky sprinkles in his own fairy dust when re-telling the tale - I really dug the set up with the angels turning into rock and the mythology of it all. The movie was gorgeous - from the first quiet moments of Noah walking around a desolate wasteland and the animals flocking in to find solace in the ark to the mass destruction of the flood. But aside from all the spectacle, I think the idea of Noah coming to terms with humanity's own sinful nature was an interesting idea, it just didn't play out as beautifully as the rest of the film. I did connect with Noah's son, played by Logan Lerman - who tries to rescue a girl to take on the ark, but is denied by his father. I'm really conflicted - I think this is a movie that might need to be appreciated on second or third viewing. I just remember walking out of the theater feeling a little numb by the whole experience. However, I do think this was a good movie, just not Aronofsky's best work.
RATING: JESUS WOULD APPROVE

7. The Amazing Spider-Man 2
I don't understand the hate for this movie. I think it's really easy to tear down a movie because you didn't like X or Y. But I enjoyed the movie for being campy and fun. I honestly think it depends on how you see Peter Parker. Is he just some douchebag smart ass? Or is he just a wise-cracking goofball with a lot of charm? I think the latter and if you come into the movie with the expectation that the movie isn't going to take itself too seriously, you'll probably enjoy it more. And can we talk about Gwen Stacy? What a breath of fresh air - she's not a damsel in distress, but an equal partner when it comes to Spider-Man's identity. She's willing to stand her ground and break up with him and go to London, she's the one who decides to not stay back while Spider-Man saves the day, but instead to help. And what a really bold move for the studio to kill her character at the end. I mean, it's canon for the franchise, but Emma Stone is a big deal and to not have her in the next movie certainly won't help fill seats in the theater. I thought they nailed it at the end with her death - quite tragic and somber like it should be. And I think Garfield has got Peter Parker/Spider-Man down - he's equally charming and knows how to let loose when dealing with the bad guys. There's a lot goofiness and camp, but to me that's a bit refreshing when we have brooding superheros like Batman sucking out all the joy in our superhero movies (not that I don't mind brooding). The movie is far from perfect (especially most of Electro's character), but I really did enjoy this one from start to finish.
RATING: AMAZINGLY NOT THAT BAD!

15. The Grand Budapest Hotel
I don't really know if there's much to talk about for this movie. Do you like Wes Anderson? Yes? Then you'll really enjoy this movie. It's every bit as quirky and fun as the rest of his movies. At times it does come off as an insufferable mess - but thanks to the charms of the cast, including the brilliant Ralph Fiennes - it manages to suck you in. You can't help but enjoy yourself - the movie moves along briskly and quite fast - there's a sense that Anderson wanted to squeeze as much as he could with visuals and dialogue into a tight 100 minutes. It's funny, witty and quite beautiful with all that dollhouse-like elegeance Anderson perfected in Moonrise Kingdom. While not my favorite Wes Anderson flick (I think that goes to the very underrated The Darjeeling Limited), Grand Budapest is a fun adventure. If you blink too much, you might miss out on all the cameos and fun little jokes. Anderson is a great visual storyteller and this might be his masterpiece in that regard. But if you don't like Wes Anderson (and there's quite a few of you) then stay away from this movie! I understand if you don't like him, just don't call him a bad filmmaker.
RATING: STAYCATION WORTHY

33. Divergent
I have not read the books. Maggie really, really wanted to see this movie. A) because she's read the books and B) it has Shailene Woodley in it, who seems to be on a roll lately with being the new hotness. I did enjoy this movie quite a bit - maybe not enough for me to sit down and read all three books, but I definitely want to see the next installment. The set up is a utopian society with factions - the nerds, the hippies, the jocks and a few others. Each serves there own purpose after some sort of apocalypse that happened. Everything is fine until Woodley becomes some sort of divergent - a person who doesn't fit into any faction. This is scary to the people who actually control the city. And there's some great fun when this all gets unraveled. But at the core this is a coming of age tale - Woodley goes to hang out with the jocks (she grew up being a hippie) and she has to learn how to deal. It's pretty fun and the climactic ending was pretty entertaining and certainly sets up the rest of the story. So I'm psyched to see where this goes and as long as Woodley is in it along with Kate Winslet as the crazy-ass evil lady, count me in. This series isn't going to be the next Harry Potter (or Hunger Games for that matter) but I do like the fact that more and more of these movies are featuring strong female leads. Yeah, sure there's love interests, but it's not the primary focus of the film like some other franchise (coughTWILIGHTcough).
RATING:  A GREAT DIVERSION FROM REALITY

23. The Fault in Our Stars
I think Maggie thinks that I hate this movie. I just didn't LOVE this movie. OKAY? Okay. (see what I did there?). I'm a big know-it-all who had cancer so of course this movie is up my alley. And of course I read the book and really enjoyed the book. And I really did like the movie - it's just, I don't know - I really don't like Augustus Waters that much. As a character and the actor who portrayed him. I think in the book he comes off a little too ideal and fake. And it's just too much charm for me. And while the movie didn't seem inauthentic, my childhood cancer experience was way different. I didn't hook up with some blue-eyed, sweet-talking dude on my way to remission. Nor did I go to group therapy or Amsterdam (I had cancer camp and I got to go to Aspen!). Which is cool - I just didn't connect like I thought I would with the book and with the movie. That being said - the really sweet moments are fantastic and Shailene Woodley is once again, fantastic. I wasn't a robot - I shed some tears (maybe more than some). It's a good story and a good movie, just something I don't think I'll be watching over and over again.
RATING: HARD TO FIND FAULT WITH THIS ONE

2014 So Far in Most Anticipated: Part 2

While by no means the worst I've seen this year, these next five movies certainly won't be seen by me again. Ever. They had their moments, but ultimately, they fail at being coherent, good movies.

26. Transformers: Age of Extinction
It's no surprise that this movie is a bloated mess, clocking in at just under 3 (!) hours. It's no surprise either, that this movie is going to make $1 billion dollars worldwide. I guess my biggest complaint about this movie was the fact that it was just like the first, second and third movies. I didn't realize this until the fourth installment, but the franchise wore out it's creative genius after the first movie. There's absolutely nothing special about this movie - it's more of the same and honestly if you put any of the 4 movies on television - I couldn't tell you which one was which. The action is the same, the plot points are the same. I would rather see the Autobots in space, going back to their homeworld. Just something unique and different. Get rid of the humans and build stories and character arcs around the Autobots. But that's too risky. Instead, we're going to get the next installment set entirely in China because that's where the money's at. Oh and Megatron is going to be the villain. Even after he got DECAPITATED in the third movie. It's utterly ridiculous how completely void this movie is of creativity. I shouldn't have been surprised, but I guess I'm an optimist. There's no way I'm paying money for the next movie. No way.
Rating: MORE LIKE REVENGE OF THE AGE OF THE FALLEN SIDE OF THE MOON, AMIRITE?

14. Monuments Men
This should have been a great movie. World War II, George Clooney, Matt Damon, Bill Murray and John Goodman? But the film lacks any coherent structure and voice. There's not a strong narrative - it's just Clooney and company running around Europe trying to find art. And the tone of the movie is all over the place - at times darkly funny (when two of the guys get caught in a crossfire between Germans and Americans) and then completely melancholic when one of them dies (due to said crossfire). It's a weird movie that I couldn't get into, nor relate to the characters at all. The sad thing is this movie could have been a really fun, really energetic movie, but the "action" and the humor don't mesh well and it ends up being really boring. It doesn't help that Clooney and company really seem to not be acting all that much. Instead it feels like George Clooney himself is out to save the artwork, rather than his character. Y'all are better off watching the Simpsons episode where Abe Simpson was waging war with Mr. Burns over Nazi-stolen artwork. Great episode.
RATING: A DECIDEDLY "MEH" ADVENTURE

32. 300: Rise of an Empire
What a bonkers movie. I really dug a lot of the naval battles, but this one ends up being just okay. While the first 300 had a razor-sharp focus and unforgettably cheesy dialogue and set pieces, the sequel lacks most of that. There are some shining moments in the movie, namely the aforementioned naval battles. But the movie is hampered by a relatively weak cast and ho-hum plot. There's an actual call back in the movie which I hate, hate hate so much. I'm not dumb. The audience is not dumb. You don't need to show a scene from 20 minutes ago to make sure we got the connection. And that's the problem with this movie - it assumes the audience is too dumb so there's lot of big-winded, FOR FREEDOM inspirational speeches and not enough real character interactions. Except for one bizarre sex sequence between the evil Eva Green character and the main guy, Themistocles. Uncomfortable and out of place, it just didn't seem like a sexy fun time for anyone either in the movie or watching it. There is a lot of unnecessary nudity (the very first scene in fact) and blood and it just drives home the point that this R-rated movie is entirely geared towards 13 year-old boys. I think they might enjoy this movie, but for the rest of us, it's an entirely forgettable experience.
RATING: MEDIOCRE? THIS IS (NOT) 300!

35. Non-Stop
Taken on a plane pretty much sums up this movie. Not entirely a waste of time, nor was it a really fun cinematic experience, Non-Stop delivers what you expect. Much like Taken, I enjoyed the thrill ride while I was watching, but looking back, I don't think I could be compelled to watch it again. The movie doesn't start out like a thriller, though. The first 10 minutes are entirely seen from Neeson's drunken stupor and it felt like forever. I just want to get to the first GD murder, please! No one cares that your wife left you (or is dead, I can't remember). But once the thrills begin, it's fun to watch. The final act is completely wacko and certainly un-thrilling and you'll probably say to yourself "Really" at least half a dozen times. Nevertheless, it's fun, maybe worth a rental but please, don't go out of your way to see this movie.
RATING: AVOID THE RED EYE AND TAKE A LAYOVER

27. Robocop
I think for the most part the reboot was worth it. Robocop has a lot of themes to chew on - losing our humanity to technology, war, corporations taking over our lives, the economy. It's a very heavy-handed movie. But mixed with a lot of action and lots of gritty robot-on-robot fighting. While being a thoroughly enjoyable film, there was just something missing. I don't think I entirely connected to Robocop as a character and the film kind meanders in the middle. Joel Kinnamen is perfect, though as the new Robocop and the rest of the cast is pretty good, too. I just couldn't muster up enough love. It's a very "okay" movie that is worth checking out, but will never really land on my rewatch list.
RATING: COME FOR THE ROBOTS, STAY FOR THE KEATON.

2014 So Far in Most Anticipated: Part 1

Let's just cut straight to it. I'm back. It's been a long six months. I've changed, the world's changed and we're all the better for it. (Except maybe for Brazil). Time to catch up briefly to where 2014 stands!

I'm going to do a break down of the movies I've seen in worst to best order. AND YES, I do have a calendar where I'm keeping track of all the movies I've watched. I'm extremely dorky like that. Now let's get on with it!

39. 3 Days to Kill
I don't know how this piece of crap movie landed inside my top 40. I think Costner is long overdue for some sort of comeback. Just not this movie. Poorly edited, paced and just all sorts of confusing at times, 3 Days to Kill is a movie that not only sucks the fun out of the room, but also makes you question your taste in movies. I seriously had a talking to with myself about selecting this movie. And not only that, why I had this on my list in the first place. Luc Besson wrote it (which was a serviceable script, but was nowhere near being a good script). BUT McG was directing. I seriously, I just can't. He's just that dude that everyone knows is a douche but you let him hang out with you and your friends because he always has money to burn on alcohol and food. He goes by the name McG and we're still letting this douche nozzle make movies? C'mon folks, it's 2014, we've evolved!
Rating: NOPE. A MILLION TIMES NOPE.

The Poster is WAY cooler than the movie. WAY.

34. Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
A wish-it-was-better kind of movie. Chris Pine desperately wants to be the next Tom Cruise - and he has the chops in my opinion, but this Tom Clancy reboot is not exactly the way to go. The movie is just okay - it seems too reliant on Bourne-like hijinks instead of being a more subtle spy movie, which is what Hunt for Red October and Patriot Games were all about. Seriously, Costner, what are you doing to yourself? I know you need a paycheck, but maybe a TV show would be better suited for you. I'm sure HBO would like to see you in Game of Thrones or Girls. Maybe True Detective! And poor Kenneth Branagh, I think he let the success of Thor get to his head! Thinking he can direct an action movie while playing the Russian mob boss villain. Cute.
Rating: A RATHER HARD MAYBE. BUT PROBABLY NOT.

Even the poster is embarrassed about the movie

Runner-Up: That Awkward Moment
Another so-so movie, I think the cast is fantastic, it's just that the script and characters aren't well-written. Nor is the movie terribly funny - it tries too hard to be a normal romantic comedy, but with edgy humor and R-rated shenanigans. And that would be fine - Wedding Crashers managed this really well - but That Awkward Moment just doesn't have a great chemistry with the cast. There's some nice moments but then you remember Zac Efron was wearing a dildo in this movie and at that moment you realize you might have just seen about everything there is in this world and OMG it's depressing.
Rating: IF YOU DON'T MIND AWKWARD SILENCES BECAUSE YOUR NOT LAUGHING THAT HARD, THEN YES. RENT THIS MOVIE.

Runner-Up: Vampire Academy
I will fully admit I will see any YA movie adaptation. I'm not above that. But man, this one is a messy diaper of young adult nonsense. The movie throws you into this story fang first (yes, puns will be had in this mini-review) without any sense of placement or direction. Exposition is a good thing which is poorly doled out. And Zooey Deutch is trying way too hard to be Juno from that movie called Juno. Like really hard. For the most part, I didn't understand the story, nor did I really "get" any of the characters. It's literally a unholy cross (pun!) between Harry Potter and Twilight. I'm surprised they didn't give out the house cup at the end.
Rating: DRIVE A STAKE THROUGH THIS BEEYATCH.

36. Walk of Shame
Well, I laughed a few times during this movie. I honestly thought this was going to be a theatrically-released movie, but no. Even the studio was like "Screw it, this goes on the On Demand pile of turds." Elizabeth Banks is a funny lady and unfortunately she finds herself in a completely unfunny movie where she's just trying to get home after somehow managing to lose her purse and keys and car and everything else. First World Problems, amirite? What should have been a clever premise ends up being a sad march to bad romantic comedy cliches and crude, junkie, homeless guy jokes. So let's just say we all forget about this one and wait for Banks' directorial debut next year with Pitch Perfect 2.
Rating: WALK OUT OF THE VIDEO STORE WITH A DIFFERENT MOVIE (yes, there are still video stores. Don't roll your eyes at me!)