2014 So Far in Most Anticipated Part 3

Five more movies that are worthy of your time. While I did enjoy these movies, I don't think they're going to land on my best of list at the end of the year. There's nothing particularly bad about these movies, they just didn't grab me like some others did so far this year!

4. Noah
I wouldn't necessarily call this movie bad, but it's more of a disappointment. I had really high expectations for Aronofsky's take on the biblical flood. And while the movie had an amazing scope and epicness to it, I thought the more intimate, character-driven moments in the film to be lacking. Aronofsky sprinkles in his own fairy dust when re-telling the tale - I really dug the set up with the angels turning into rock and the mythology of it all. The movie was gorgeous - from the first quiet moments of Noah walking around a desolate wasteland and the animals flocking in to find solace in the ark to the mass destruction of the flood. But aside from all the spectacle, I think the idea of Noah coming to terms with humanity's own sinful nature was an interesting idea, it just didn't play out as beautifully as the rest of the film. I did connect with Noah's son, played by Logan Lerman - who tries to rescue a girl to take on the ark, but is denied by his father. I'm really conflicted - I think this is a movie that might need to be appreciated on second or third viewing. I just remember walking out of the theater feeling a little numb by the whole experience. However, I do think this was a good movie, just not Aronofsky's best work.
RATING: JESUS WOULD APPROVE

7. The Amazing Spider-Man 2
I don't understand the hate for this movie. I think it's really easy to tear down a movie because you didn't like X or Y. But I enjoyed the movie for being campy and fun. I honestly think it depends on how you see Peter Parker. Is he just some douchebag smart ass? Or is he just a wise-cracking goofball with a lot of charm? I think the latter and if you come into the movie with the expectation that the movie isn't going to take itself too seriously, you'll probably enjoy it more. And can we talk about Gwen Stacy? What a breath of fresh air - she's not a damsel in distress, but an equal partner when it comes to Spider-Man's identity. She's willing to stand her ground and break up with him and go to London, she's the one who decides to not stay back while Spider-Man saves the day, but instead to help. And what a really bold move for the studio to kill her character at the end. I mean, it's canon for the franchise, but Emma Stone is a big deal and to not have her in the next movie certainly won't help fill seats in the theater. I thought they nailed it at the end with her death - quite tragic and somber like it should be. And I think Garfield has got Peter Parker/Spider-Man down - he's equally charming and knows how to let loose when dealing with the bad guys. There's a lot goofiness and camp, but to me that's a bit refreshing when we have brooding superheros like Batman sucking out all the joy in our superhero movies (not that I don't mind brooding). The movie is far from perfect (especially most of Electro's character), but I really did enjoy this one from start to finish.
RATING: AMAZINGLY NOT THAT BAD!

15. The Grand Budapest Hotel
I don't really know if there's much to talk about for this movie. Do you like Wes Anderson? Yes? Then you'll really enjoy this movie. It's every bit as quirky and fun as the rest of his movies. At times it does come off as an insufferable mess - but thanks to the charms of the cast, including the brilliant Ralph Fiennes - it manages to suck you in. You can't help but enjoy yourself - the movie moves along briskly and quite fast - there's a sense that Anderson wanted to squeeze as much as he could with visuals and dialogue into a tight 100 minutes. It's funny, witty and quite beautiful with all that dollhouse-like elegeance Anderson perfected in Moonrise Kingdom. While not my favorite Wes Anderson flick (I think that goes to the very underrated The Darjeeling Limited), Grand Budapest is a fun adventure. If you blink too much, you might miss out on all the cameos and fun little jokes. Anderson is a great visual storyteller and this might be his masterpiece in that regard. But if you don't like Wes Anderson (and there's quite a few of you) then stay away from this movie! I understand if you don't like him, just don't call him a bad filmmaker.
RATING: STAYCATION WORTHY

33. Divergent
I have not read the books. Maggie really, really wanted to see this movie. A) because she's read the books and B) it has Shailene Woodley in it, who seems to be on a roll lately with being the new hotness. I did enjoy this movie quite a bit - maybe not enough for me to sit down and read all three books, but I definitely want to see the next installment. The set up is a utopian society with factions - the nerds, the hippies, the jocks and a few others. Each serves there own purpose after some sort of apocalypse that happened. Everything is fine until Woodley becomes some sort of divergent - a person who doesn't fit into any faction. This is scary to the people who actually control the city. And there's some great fun when this all gets unraveled. But at the core this is a coming of age tale - Woodley goes to hang out with the jocks (she grew up being a hippie) and she has to learn how to deal. It's pretty fun and the climactic ending was pretty entertaining and certainly sets up the rest of the story. So I'm psyched to see where this goes and as long as Woodley is in it along with Kate Winslet as the crazy-ass evil lady, count me in. This series isn't going to be the next Harry Potter (or Hunger Games for that matter) but I do like the fact that more and more of these movies are featuring strong female leads. Yeah, sure there's love interests, but it's not the primary focus of the film like some other franchise (coughTWILIGHTcough).
RATING:  A GREAT DIVERSION FROM REALITY

23. The Fault in Our Stars
I think Maggie thinks that I hate this movie. I just didn't LOVE this movie. OKAY? Okay. (see what I did there?). I'm a big know-it-all who had cancer so of course this movie is up my alley. And of course I read the book and really enjoyed the book. And I really did like the movie - it's just, I don't know - I really don't like Augustus Waters that much. As a character and the actor who portrayed him. I think in the book he comes off a little too ideal and fake. And it's just too much charm for me. And while the movie didn't seem inauthentic, my childhood cancer experience was way different. I didn't hook up with some blue-eyed, sweet-talking dude on my way to remission. Nor did I go to group therapy or Amsterdam (I had cancer camp and I got to go to Aspen!). Which is cool - I just didn't connect like I thought I would with the book and with the movie. That being said - the really sweet moments are fantastic and Shailene Woodley is once again, fantastic. I wasn't a robot - I shed some tears (maybe more than some). It's a good story and a good movie, just something I don't think I'll be watching over and over again.
RATING: HARD TO FIND FAULT WITH THIS ONE

2014 So Far in Most Anticipated: Part 2

While by no means the worst I've seen this year, these next five movies certainly won't be seen by me again. Ever. They had their moments, but ultimately, they fail at being coherent, good movies.

26. Transformers: Age of Extinction
It's no surprise that this movie is a bloated mess, clocking in at just under 3 (!) hours. It's no surprise either, that this movie is going to make $1 billion dollars worldwide. I guess my biggest complaint about this movie was the fact that it was just like the first, second and third movies. I didn't realize this until the fourth installment, but the franchise wore out it's creative genius after the first movie. There's absolutely nothing special about this movie - it's more of the same and honestly if you put any of the 4 movies on television - I couldn't tell you which one was which. The action is the same, the plot points are the same. I would rather see the Autobots in space, going back to their homeworld. Just something unique and different. Get rid of the humans and build stories and character arcs around the Autobots. But that's too risky. Instead, we're going to get the next installment set entirely in China because that's where the money's at. Oh and Megatron is going to be the villain. Even after he got DECAPITATED in the third movie. It's utterly ridiculous how completely void this movie is of creativity. I shouldn't have been surprised, but I guess I'm an optimist. There's no way I'm paying money for the next movie. No way.
Rating: MORE LIKE REVENGE OF THE AGE OF THE FALLEN SIDE OF THE MOON, AMIRITE?

14. Monuments Men
This should have been a great movie. World War II, George Clooney, Matt Damon, Bill Murray and John Goodman? But the film lacks any coherent structure and voice. There's not a strong narrative - it's just Clooney and company running around Europe trying to find art. And the tone of the movie is all over the place - at times darkly funny (when two of the guys get caught in a crossfire between Germans and Americans) and then completely melancholic when one of them dies (due to said crossfire). It's a weird movie that I couldn't get into, nor relate to the characters at all. The sad thing is this movie could have been a really fun, really energetic movie, but the "action" and the humor don't mesh well and it ends up being really boring. It doesn't help that Clooney and company really seem to not be acting all that much. Instead it feels like George Clooney himself is out to save the artwork, rather than his character. Y'all are better off watching the Simpsons episode where Abe Simpson was waging war with Mr. Burns over Nazi-stolen artwork. Great episode.
RATING: A DECIDEDLY "MEH" ADVENTURE

32. 300: Rise of an Empire
What a bonkers movie. I really dug a lot of the naval battles, but this one ends up being just okay. While the first 300 had a razor-sharp focus and unforgettably cheesy dialogue and set pieces, the sequel lacks most of that. There are some shining moments in the movie, namely the aforementioned naval battles. But the movie is hampered by a relatively weak cast and ho-hum plot. There's an actual call back in the movie which I hate, hate hate so much. I'm not dumb. The audience is not dumb. You don't need to show a scene from 20 minutes ago to make sure we got the connection. And that's the problem with this movie - it assumes the audience is too dumb so there's lot of big-winded, FOR FREEDOM inspirational speeches and not enough real character interactions. Except for one bizarre sex sequence between the evil Eva Green character and the main guy, Themistocles. Uncomfortable and out of place, it just didn't seem like a sexy fun time for anyone either in the movie or watching it. There is a lot of unnecessary nudity (the very first scene in fact) and blood and it just drives home the point that this R-rated movie is entirely geared towards 13 year-old boys. I think they might enjoy this movie, but for the rest of us, it's an entirely forgettable experience.
RATING: MEDIOCRE? THIS IS (NOT) 300!

35. Non-Stop
Taken on a plane pretty much sums up this movie. Not entirely a waste of time, nor was it a really fun cinematic experience, Non-Stop delivers what you expect. Much like Taken, I enjoyed the thrill ride while I was watching, but looking back, I don't think I could be compelled to watch it again. The movie doesn't start out like a thriller, though. The first 10 minutes are entirely seen from Neeson's drunken stupor and it felt like forever. I just want to get to the first GD murder, please! No one cares that your wife left you (or is dead, I can't remember). But once the thrills begin, it's fun to watch. The final act is completely wacko and certainly un-thrilling and you'll probably say to yourself "Really" at least half a dozen times. Nevertheless, it's fun, maybe worth a rental but please, don't go out of your way to see this movie.
RATING: AVOID THE RED EYE AND TAKE A LAYOVER

27. Robocop
I think for the most part the reboot was worth it. Robocop has a lot of themes to chew on - losing our humanity to technology, war, corporations taking over our lives, the economy. It's a very heavy-handed movie. But mixed with a lot of action and lots of gritty robot-on-robot fighting. While being a thoroughly enjoyable film, there was just something missing. I don't think I entirely connected to Robocop as a character and the film kind meanders in the middle. Joel Kinnamen is perfect, though as the new Robocop and the rest of the cast is pretty good, too. I just couldn't muster up enough love. It's a very "okay" movie that is worth checking out, but will never really land on my rewatch list.
RATING: COME FOR THE ROBOTS, STAY FOR THE KEATON.

2014 So Far in Most Anticipated: Part 1

Let's just cut straight to it. I'm back. It's been a long six months. I've changed, the world's changed and we're all the better for it. (Except maybe for Brazil). Time to catch up briefly to where 2014 stands!

I'm going to do a break down of the movies I've seen in worst to best order. AND YES, I do have a calendar where I'm keeping track of all the movies I've watched. I'm extremely dorky like that. Now let's get on with it!

39. 3 Days to Kill
I don't know how this piece of crap movie landed inside my top 40. I think Costner is long overdue for some sort of comeback. Just not this movie. Poorly edited, paced and just all sorts of confusing at times, 3 Days to Kill is a movie that not only sucks the fun out of the room, but also makes you question your taste in movies. I seriously had a talking to with myself about selecting this movie. And not only that, why I had this on my list in the first place. Luc Besson wrote it (which was a serviceable script, but was nowhere near being a good script). BUT McG was directing. I seriously, I just can't. He's just that dude that everyone knows is a douche but you let him hang out with you and your friends because he always has money to burn on alcohol and food. He goes by the name McG and we're still letting this douche nozzle make movies? C'mon folks, it's 2014, we've evolved!
Rating: NOPE. A MILLION TIMES NOPE.

The Poster is WAY cooler than the movie. WAY.

34. Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
A wish-it-was-better kind of movie. Chris Pine desperately wants to be the next Tom Cruise - and he has the chops in my opinion, but this Tom Clancy reboot is not exactly the way to go. The movie is just okay - it seems too reliant on Bourne-like hijinks instead of being a more subtle spy movie, which is what Hunt for Red October and Patriot Games were all about. Seriously, Costner, what are you doing to yourself? I know you need a paycheck, but maybe a TV show would be better suited for you. I'm sure HBO would like to see you in Game of Thrones or Girls. Maybe True Detective! And poor Kenneth Branagh, I think he let the success of Thor get to his head! Thinking he can direct an action movie while playing the Russian mob boss villain. Cute.
Rating: A RATHER HARD MAYBE. BUT PROBABLY NOT.

Even the poster is embarrassed about the movie

Runner-Up: That Awkward Moment
Another so-so movie, I think the cast is fantastic, it's just that the script and characters aren't well-written. Nor is the movie terribly funny - it tries too hard to be a normal romantic comedy, but with edgy humor and R-rated shenanigans. And that would be fine - Wedding Crashers managed this really well - but That Awkward Moment just doesn't have a great chemistry with the cast. There's some nice moments but then you remember Zac Efron was wearing a dildo in this movie and at that moment you realize you might have just seen about everything there is in this world and OMG it's depressing.
Rating: IF YOU DON'T MIND AWKWARD SILENCES BECAUSE YOUR NOT LAUGHING THAT HARD, THEN YES. RENT THIS MOVIE.

Runner-Up: Vampire Academy
I will fully admit I will see any YA movie adaptation. I'm not above that. But man, this one is a messy diaper of young adult nonsense. The movie throws you into this story fang first (yes, puns will be had in this mini-review) without any sense of placement or direction. Exposition is a good thing which is poorly doled out. And Zooey Deutch is trying way too hard to be Juno from that movie called Juno. Like really hard. For the most part, I didn't understand the story, nor did I really "get" any of the characters. It's literally a unholy cross (pun!) between Harry Potter and Twilight. I'm surprised they didn't give out the house cup at the end.
Rating: DRIVE A STAKE THROUGH THIS BEEYATCH.

36. Walk of Shame
Well, I laughed a few times during this movie. I honestly thought this was going to be a theatrically-released movie, but no. Even the studio was like "Screw it, this goes on the On Demand pile of turds." Elizabeth Banks is a funny lady and unfortunately she finds herself in a completely unfunny movie where she's just trying to get home after somehow managing to lose her purse and keys and car and everything else. First World Problems, amirite? What should have been a clever premise ends up being a sad march to bad romantic comedy cliches and crude, junkie, homeless guy jokes. So let's just say we all forget about this one and wait for Banks' directorial debut next year with Pitch Perfect 2.
Rating: WALK OUT OF THE VIDEO STORE WITH A DIFFERENT MOVIE (yes, there are still video stores. Don't roll your eyes at me!)

The Best of 2013: The Best Around, Nothing's Gonna Keep Them Down

This is it - the final countdown! Cue the music! (Europe is playing in the background somewhere) I have to say, I was excited to get this list started and I had a hard time getting the top 5. Any one of these movies could have been number one. But I had to make choices which were very hard. These movies are worth repeat viewings for sure!

The Best of 2013: The First Five

After a long time scratching off titles and adding new ones all last year, I've decided upon my top 10. There are a few movies I've yet to see that could very well end up in my honorable mentions list, but I think the Top 10 here is my final statement for the year. As much as sequels dominated the box office in 2013, only two of them ended up in my top 10 compared to the 6 that are in the top 10 of 2013's box office. Which is awesome - there's been a healthy amount of original titles and a lot of them have been quality viewing. There were quite a few surprises as well - 3 of the top 10 weren't even on my most anticipated (4 if you're going by my original list).

The biggest thing that struck me this year was the theme of relationships - whether romantically or of the best friend variety. A lot of my favorite films dealt with deeply personal and troubled relationships. There were also a lot of great action and science fiction fare. Not surprising, coming from me, but I think there were a lot of reasons to love 2013 in film. Now on to the first five!

The Best of 2013: Mentioning of Honors

Between solid coming-of-age stories and epic superhero movies, 2013 had pretty much something for everyone. Well, at least it had everything for me. I'm a pretty easy going guy when it comes to movie watching. Some may say I'll watch anything. Well, it's true, much like my unhealthy appetite for all the foods, I really can't say no to a movie (unless it's one of those awful musicals where people sing and dance for no reason. Or most horror movies. Okay, so I do draw the line somewhere, but I'm pretty easy to please). It's no surprise that I found a lot of movies last year highly enjoyable. There were quite a few movies that I know I can watch again, if not a few times. I'm also a pretty positive dude - so I try to stay away from lists that involve the worst of...

The Most Anticipated Movies of 2014: Risk it for the Biscuit

The List: 1-5 | 6-10 | 11-15 | 16-20 | 21-25 | 26-30 | 31-35 | 36-40 | 41-45 | 46-50 | Runners-Up

We've made it to the mountaintop, folks. Despite the extended breaks in between, I made it! It's been fun to speculate (as always) about what's going to be awesome next year. I said at the beginning that 2014 is a filler year - and while I'm still way, way more excited for 2015, next year should be filled with some really fun movies and way more original titles. As I'm writing this, I've already had a victim of push back - Fast and Furious 7 has been officially moved to an already-crowded 2015. So stay tuned on a replacement, as soon as I can figure that out!

The Most Anticipated Movies of 2014: Sequelitis

 The List: 1-5 | 6-10 | 11-15 | 16-20 | 21-25 | 26-30 | 31-35 | 36-40 | 41-45 | 46-50 | Runners-Up

Well, we've reached the Top 10. Most of these movies are sequels. While I do enjoy original stories, there's nothing quite like seeing a movie transcend it's original and become something great. Star Wars did it. The Terminator did it. Bill and Ted most definitely did it. So despite everyone's whining about sequels, these are the moments when a movie can become a cultural phenomenon (The Dark Knight) or at the very least, a good franchise. I expect nothing but awesome sauce for these next 10 movies. It won't be surprising if they fail to meet my expectations, but there's always a chance we'll get to see something special!

The Most Anticipated Movies of 2014: Kickstarting!

 The List: 1-5 | 6-10 | 11-15 | 16-20 | 21-25 | 26-30 | 31-35 | 36-40 | 41-45 | 46-50 | Runners-Up

They gave it 6 stars!

 I'm not going to bore you with my mother's garden stories, let's get to the list!

The Most Anticipated Movies of 2014: Geekdom!

The List: 1-5 | 6-10 | 11-15 | 16-20 | 21-25 | 26-30 | 31-35 | 36-40 | 41-45 | 46-50 | Runners-Up

"I wanna dip my balls in it!" "Louie! Louie! Louie!"

2 sequels and 3 original science fiction movies. It's no surprise that about a third of my top 25 is science fiction. I grew up with it, I get excited about that stuff. It's been a wonderful 5 years to be a science fiction geek. In fact, it's been an awesome time to be a geek or a nerd - they've been ruling the internet and pop culture now for what seems like a really long time. Growing up in the 90s, it was definitely not cool to like Star Trek or read Robert Heinlein novels or enjoy MTV's The State. Now you're considered out of the loop if you don't watch Game of Thrones or enjoy comic books or their film adaptations. It's been pretty fun, that's why I'm enjoying my time here at the top. Because I know at some point science fiction, fantasy and other "Geek culture" might become not cool again. And then I'll be forced to discuss my love for Battlestar Galactica on a fansite message board. Sigh.