ck Strikes Back!

Never fear, fellow bloggers, friends, family, lazy people and creepy people who have nothing better to do than look up good looking people like me and stalk them, I'm BACK!

Okay, I've said that several times, but for real, I'm keepin' it real this time! I really don't have much else to do except write on my blog, because I really (really, really really, please keep count for me), technically don't have a job (although I am writing for money, which is sweet). But what-ev, if you really want to know what I'm up to, just email me.

Any way, being that I have a lot of time on my hands, I've been wading through the muck that is the internet. Have any of you guys googled (yes, it's true this is a word now, Mr. Webster said so) your name? Not just googled your name but clicked on image search? Here's what I've come up with so far:


Colin Kelly Clone #1: This guy is obviously a douchebag. He plays in a ska band. And not like a good ska/punk band, a Canadian ska band. He's so full of douche. Here's a quote from his bio: "Colin Kelly is the latest incarnation of Ultraman, armed with cosmic power to be used in defence [not my misspelling] of our species and to impress hot girls." Words fail me. Grade: D


Colin Kelly Clone #2: Oh man, I would make fun of this guy, except I'm scared that I may look like this dude in ten years. This guy is a RE/MAX sales associate. Hmmm, maybe he's also a child molester? That's right I said it. I know all of you were thinking it. He is that guy that drives by the elementary school to check out the "fresh crop" and make passes at the teachers, so as not to draw attention to his real fetish. Grade: C-


Colin Kelly Clone #3: I like this kid. Look at that evil grin. He's basking in his awesome strength. This kid has potential. Although his name is really Colin Kelly Christian (an ironic name, according to this picture), I can forgive him this one fact. He's worthy of being my pupil, someone I can bring under my tutelage (I've always wanted to use that word) for my own diabolical purposes. Grade: B+

Colin Kelly Clone #4: This tops them all. I love this guy! And for some reason, he's an artist. Really? Shouldn't this guy either A) Be in some washed-up 40 year-olds' band that plays at your local bar B) Tom Selleck's / Burt Reynolds stunt man or C) a rodeo enthusiast that is in the World Series of Poker? If only he can paint a portrait of me, we might break some weird time-parallel universe rule and the world would explode. This I could live with. Grade: A-


Colin Kelly Clone #5: Gym Supervisor. Oh yeah. This guy has that smile. And good looks. Nuff said. Grade: A+

I'm out!