182: Happy Feet

Happy Feet (PG) - 2006 - Runtime: 108 minutes
Voiced by: Elijah Wood, Robin Williams, Brittany Murphy, Hugh Jackman, Nicole Kidman
Director: George Miller, Warren Coleman

I was suggested this movie by one of my old co-workers who absolutely thought this was a must see. I can unequivocally state that this is by far a must avoid. I understand that penguins are cute and dancing penguins are even cuter. But this movie is just plain awful! I can't imagine torturing my eyeballs and ears again if I ever come across this movie again!

The movie starts out insanely weird - that the great mother of the universe has a song to sing and the penguins need to sing their love song or some such nonsense. It's all just an excuse to put in as much music as possible. I don't mind that - I think music and movies go hand in hand, but this movie seemed to reach levels of exploitation of the music. There's at least a new song every five minutes and they start a new one before the last one is even finished. But I digress! Mumble is born with a defect: he can't sing. And that's important in the penguin world because the only way you can get a soul mate is by singing. It's just how it is, so deal, Mumbles! And so Mumbles has to find out about living your way is the best way and in the mean time, he has to save his village from starvation! The plot itself reaches insanity levels when Mumbles gets captured by humans. I was at a loss for words as to why the movie went where it did, but you can't have a movie without conflict and apparently Mumble's own struggles weren't enough.

It's a terrible movie and one that I can't believe people love. The main plot boils down to sex. I mean the first lyrics of the movie open up like this: "You don't have to be beautiful, to turn me on. I just need your body, baby, from dusk 'til dawn. You don't need experience, to turn me on. You just leave it all up to me..." Seriously! I feel like a prude by taking a stand against these lyrics, but it seriously is all about sex. And the movie keeps hammering this theme throughout. I guess I wouldn't have minded if the movie had been fun and entertaining, but it's just not exciting or great. Even the music that they do use is pretty lame - there's a few solid numbers (I Wish), but nothing too exciting or memorable.

The message of the movie is nice and all - staying true to one's self - but it just seems such a half-assed attempt to provide the kids with a lesson. I say if you have to see penguins, you might be better off watching them surf in the movie Surf's Up. Or March of the Penguins, that's a good one. But dear god, stay away from this one, it's toxic!

Rating: Avoid Like the Plague!

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