Sunday Night Trailer Review: Lincoln

I love trailers. So much in fact, they're my favorite part of going to the movies. Well, aside from the movie itself. It's the idea of what a trailer is selling; what the movie can be about. it's the reason why I do my most anticipated list. In my mind, Terminator Salvation and Transformers 2 were some of the greatest movies ever, according to their trailers. I almost had to change underwear when the six minute long trailer for Cloud Atlas went online. These people really know how to sell a movie (well, maybe not this movie)! Some trailers are just plain awesome and others can be so generic, fill-in-the-blanks moments that you can tell someone was being lazy cobbling together the trailer. And so without further ado, we dive into the Spielberg-directed Lincoln:

Most Anticipated Roundup!

Okay, I've been away for a while and I've actually seen a handful of movies! So instead of giving a long spiel of why I enjoyed/hated movies - there's a quick paragraph summing everything up! Quick and dirty is how I like it here!

The Raid: Redemption

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Most Anticipated: Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days

50. Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days (PG) - Runtime: 94 minutes
Starring: Zachary Gordon, Robert Capron, Devon Bostick
Director: David Bowers

Yes, this movie was on my most anticipated list. I decided to give this series a shot last year and I really, really enjoyed both movies. Rowley is by far one of the greatest kid characters to ever grace the silver screen. The actor, Robert Capron, does such a great job of creating this sweet, naive and dorky kid that you can't help but smile whenever he's onscreen. Dog Days is another great addition to the series and it's just as good, if not better, than the other two movies.

Whereas the first two movies dealt with Greg's relationship with his best friend Rowley and then with his brother, Rodrick, Dog Days focuses on Greg's father, Frank. Played by one of the most underrated actors in Hollywood, Steve Zahn - Frank Heffley walks a fine line between Homer Simpson-like buffoonery and Ward Cleaver-like wisdom. I liked the story they told and how Greg comes to really enjoy his father's company. The movie never spends too much time indulging in the cheesefest of father-son relationships. This is mostly a comedic film and I found myself laughing hard at times.

There's a lot of different stories/characters happening in the movie so it's hard to remember all the great stuff I enjoyed. But I dug Greg's weekend getaway with Rowley's parents. Rowley's parents border on serial killer status, which I thought was hilarious! There's a scene where they all want to get ice cream and instead of getting 3 separate cones, all three flavor scoops are on one cone, which Rowley and his parents enjoy licking together. It's gross but immensely funny - most of the movie is this way and I applaud the execution.

I found this third movie to be the best because of the aforementioned storyline of Greg connecting to his father. It just felt authentic and real. Plus there's just more funny jokes and Steve Zahn gets more screen time which is always a plus. I've enjoyed every movie in this series and by far this one takes the cake.

It may not be the best coming of age story, but Dog Days is filled with a ton of laughs and it's really, really fun. You can take your mom to see this and you won't have to worry about awkward sex scenes or filthy jokes that only you laugh at while your mom looks on disapprovingly. I highly recommend this one!

Rating: See It!

Most Anticipated: Wrath of the Titans

33. Wrath of the Titans (PG-13) - Runtime: 99 minutes
Starring: Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Rosamund Pike
Director: Jonathan Liebesman

I don't think I was as harsh on Clash of the Titans like a lot of other people were (it currently has a 5.8 user rating on IMDb). It was highly entertaining and provided "Release the Kraken" into mainstream culture (that phrase may have jumped the shark, but it's still a pretty good line to use for jokes!). So for all of its flaws, you can't deny it had some good action. And when the movie did major business, it was no surprise that a sequel was in the works. I'm grateful that this sequel tanked at the box office because that means we won't be seeing another unnecessary sequel, but it's not like I didn't have fun with this movie. In fact, I think this movie was superior to the original in a number of ways.

The movie follows Perseus once again. This time having forsaken his birthright as a god and deciding to lead a normal human life, Perseus is called into action. When Hades strikes a deal with his titan father Kronos, all hell will literally break loose. And it's up to Perseus to fight for the gods and for humanity. It's a very simple plot with the action driving most of the movie forward. There isn't as many iconic moments like the last film had - no cutting off Medusa's head or Kraken bashing, but what the movie lacks in inspiring action scenes it makes up for in character development.

Yes, you heard me, characters actually have an arc and I really liked how the story was told. Perseus has another journey to go through - one of acceptance of his place in the world and one of being a father. And Zeus and Hades finally come to accept each other as brothers and smoke a peace pipe and sing Kumbayah. It doesn't really get that heavy; after all this is just an action movie, but it was a nice change of pace. Nobody's going to win any acting awards, but everyone did a nice job and Bill Nighy gets to make an appearance and ham it up for twenty or so minutes.

The action was all around solid and I really enjoyed the prison realm of Tartarus. If only the movie had more of these moments I might have enjoyed the film more. Like the first movie, Wrath limps to the finish. There's something anti-climactic about how they've filmed the last battle. It's similar to Clash where Perseus has to ride a Pegasus to confront a giant beast (in this case, Kronos) but the way it's done, I was yawning - just like last time! You're left wondering, "That's it? Hell, I could do Perseus' job for him." When the audience is having these thoughts, maybe it's best you rewrite the ending so at least it seems challenging. In no sense did I really think Perseus as a god - he just stabs things and flies into things. Big deal, I can do that if I had a Pegasus.

The biggest misstep is Andromeda. It's not like her character was unnecessary, but they throw in this romantic angle and at the end Perseus kisses her which comes out of nowhere! Woah Woah Woah, Perseus, you horndog! Just because Miss Andromeda looks good in a suit of armor, does not mean she's asking you for some tongue wrestling. I know us men can read the wrong signals, but chain-mail is not Ancient Greece's answer to the modern day thong. That "romance" scene is completely random and there's really no indication there was some sort of connection between them. Just because there's a good looking woman in the movie doesn't mean she needs to hook up with the lead dude. I was really bummed they decided to go there.

Whatever, this movie was okay. I'm not going to see it ever again, that's for sure. But I had fun watching it. If you at least enjoyed the first movie, you'll end up enjoying this one. It's not a memorable movie, but it's a fun action flick that doesn't wear out its welcome.

Rating: Rent It!

I think I'm taking crazy pills!

Let's just start off by teasing my #4 most anticipated film (formerly known as Kathryn Bigelow's Untitled Osama Bin Laden Movie)

Now before y'all start complaining about how disappointed you are in this trailer, let me remind you this is a teaser. Of course this is only going to just give you a hint of what's to come. Hell, they even got to read classified documents in order to make the movie better. You think the producers are just going to throw all the cool shit into the teaser five months before the movie is out? Hell no! This film only has intensified my curiosity for this movie!

Onto some more somber news: Yet another movie has been pushed back. It's been announced today that The Great Gatsby (AKA Baz Lurhman Messes with an American Classic) has been moved from December 2012 to Summer 2013. Uhhhnnnn, this is the eighth movie to have been pushed back. I don't know why the movie gods have cursed me this year, but thankfully 2012 has been filled with a ton of great movies to fall back on. Seriously, I haven't been this satisfied with the first seven months of the year since 2008 when The Dark Knight and Iron Man stole the summer. I have to use more than two hands to count how many movies I've enjoyed this year - from The Dark Knight Rises to Friends With Kids to 21 Jump Street - it's been a fantastic year so far. And now we're slowly creeping up to Oscar season - the time of year when studios start to really pimp out their quality stuff in front of the Academy much like roosters do in order to get laid. And what better way to celebrate the Oscar mating season than by pimping PT Anderson's new flick, The Master!

39. The Master

Starring: Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Joaquin Pheonix

Director: Paul Thomas Anderson

Release Date: September 2

I really, really believed that PTA's last movie, There Will Be Blood, was the best movie of 2007. I don't know what it is about that movie, but I was completely enthralled. Maybe Daniel Day-Lewis had something to do with it, but the direction in that movie was flawless along with all that beautiful acting. And although PTA hasn't done a whole lot of movies in his long career, they've all been must-see movies whether you love them or hate them (ask anybody what they think of Magnolia and they'll certainly have an opinion on it!). So I am certainly thrilled to see another PTA production, but the movie's plot was too vague by my tastes (and are still a little bit) for me to warrant a spot on my original list. But now there's a couple of teasers out and the plot seems a little more comprehensible so here were are. Basically Hoffman plays an L. Ron Hubbard (Scientology!) type figure who starts a religion and brings a drifter (Pheonix) under his wing as his second-hand man to help spread his message. It sounds like Anderson might be covering similar territory and themes from There Will Be Blood, but I'm already fascinated to see how he handles these characters that I'm pretty certain I want to see this right away. This is most definitely Oscar bait - but the Academy might have too many active Scientologists to warrant a nomination, so we'll shall see! 

Another One Bites the Dust

 

With the tragic events in Aurora, Colorado last week, it's pretty safe to assume that violence in movies is getting picked apart by the media. And we've already seen some fallout from this. Gangster Squad has gotten moved back into 2013 because they had to re-shoot some scenes. If you watched the latest trailer (which has been pretty much pulled from the internet), you'll see a scene where the mob opens up fire from behind the movie screen in a crowded theater. It's completely understandable why they had to re-shoot. On the other hand, part of me just shakes my head thinking how absurd it is that the studio has to completely bail on what may be a very horrific scene but which may also provide insight into this idea of glorified violence. We'll never really know how that scene was going to play out, but it's too bad that we won't be able to see the true version of the movie. It reminded me of when Spider-Man first came out - there was a shot of the Twin Towers at the end of the teaser. But obviously 9/11 happened and at the time the teaser trailer showing the towers was a big deal, but I don't think too many people remember. Hopefully that's what will happen with Gangster Squad.

But in the meantime, I've had to dig through the trenches to find another movie to add to my list. It wasn't that hard, because just a couple of days ago, they released a five minute trailer for Cloud Atlas.  I purposefully avoided putting this movie on my most anticipated because A) I didn't know too much about the film except that it was a sweeping, fantasy/sci-fi epic and B) It was co-directed and co-written by the Wachowski brothers (of The Matrix fame). Now don't get me wrong, those two guys have certainly made/written some great movies (The Matrix, V for Vendetta) but they've also crashed and burned pretty stupendously with the two Matrix sequels and Speed Racer. So I've been hesitant to mention this movie at all, but I'm a sucker for well-put together trailers and I will tell you this trailer lasts more than five minutes, but it only felt like two. Plus any trailer that uses an M83 song is instantly one of the best trailers ever.

43. Cloud Atlas

Starring: Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Jim Broadbent, Jim Sturgess, Hugo Weaving

Director: Tim Tykwer, Andy Wachowski, Lana Wachowski

Release Date: October 26

I'll be damned if I know what's going on, but I think stories like these are hard to tell and hard to sell. The Fountain is one of those types of movies and honestly it's the best comparison I can think of for Cloud Atlas. I loved The Fountain a lot, so I'm hoping I'll fall in love with this movie. I'm actually anxious to read the book it's based on now that I'm pretty sure the subject falls under my wheelhouse of multi-storylines and sci-fi. The cast looks great too - there's so many great big names (Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Hugh Grant) and a solid cast of character actors (Hugo Weaving, Jim Broadbent, Keith David). I'm pretty stoked about this movie, but my expectations are a bit low because this could turn out to be a real big mess. Either way, I'll be punching my ticket for this movie in October.

Most Anticipated: Act of Valor

34. Act of Valor (PG-13) - Runtime: 110 minutes
Starring: Alex Veadov, Roselyn Sanchez, Nestor Serrano
Director: Mike McCoy, Scott Waugh

It's completely understandable that some executives saw the Call of Duty video game franchise and decided that they should cash in on this craze and make a movie exactly like it. Unfortunately, this is all the movie is - a cash grab. Sure, it stars real Navy SEALS and is based on actual missions, but everything rings hollow with this movie.

Take for instance, the opening monologue. It's filled with chest-thumping AMERIKAH! rah rah bullshit and honor and duty and all those cliches. And it lasts for fucking ever. Seriously this movie is supposed to be about the SEALS taking names and kicking ass, but you don't get to that until twenty or so minutes into the movie. They're trying to get us to sympathize with the soldier with all this exposition, but instead of providing us with character interactions and decisions and letting the context shape how we see these soldiers, the movie decides to dump all this information either in the monologue or on these annoying HUD-like screens that pop up with useless army jargon that normal folk wouldn't possibly comprehend.

And this is the major fault with the movie - I don't care about these guys at all because I really didn't know them. Sure there's a guy who's going to be a father and another guy who is a father of 5 or something. There's even a token black guy! But despite the buttload of information they give us, I had no idea who was who during the whole movie. One of the guys dies (Not Spoiler Alert! We all saw this coming) and I really didn't know who it was! And forget about the plot - what a mess. Supposedly I cared about the jihadists who were going to wreak havoc on American soil with this new suicide bombing technology, but honestly the movie was poorly edited.

The movie jumps from a bunch of information/dialogue dumped upon the viewer to these big action set pieces. But even the action wasn't all that stunning. Maybe it's because I've played most of the Call of Duties and they've all had way better, more well-choreographed action sequences. So I was kind of yawning throughout. This movie tries sooooo hard to be Call of Duty: The Movie that they even integrate the first-person perspective almost too much. It gets really annoying because it doesn't add anything special to the movie nor does it enhance our immersiveness into the world of a Navy SEAL. It just made me want to fire up a video game.

And that's too bad - this could have been a really cool movie with just balls-out action. But the mixture of terrible dialogue and plot with ho-hum action just doesn't add up. It's one of the worst movies I've seen all year and it's best you avoid this one!

Rating: Avoid Like the Plague!

Most Anticipated: Project X

24. Project X (R) - Runtime: 88 minutes
Starring: Thomas Mann, Oliver Cooper, Jonathan Daniel
Director: Nima Nourizadeh


Uhhhhnnnnnnnnn, this movie was so, so disappointing! I was really fired up for this one! I really thought this would be a fun teenage, Risky Business/Superbad type of movie - just told through docu-drama style (which I hate BTW, but was willing to see this weird mashup of genres). Unfortunately, it's a mess of a movie with no real funny or fun parts to it. Instead, this movie just made me feel old as shit.


Normally I'm not a prude - I understand the need to party and get down. I love these types of movies - from Can't Hardly Wait to Superbad. These movies had fun characters you cared about and really, really funny jokes. Instead this movie is tired and played out - the movie takes forever to get started and when the party starts it instantly becomes the most epic party within 5 minutes! The movie then spirals out of control as it tries to keep one-upping itself. At one point the drug dealer comes looking for the kids with an Iron Man suit on and a flamethrower! Oh man that was so....so.... WTF?


This is certainly a cringe-inducing hot mess. It's really just an excuse to show off as many boobs as possible because there really wasn't any point to this movie. The kids get the respect they so admired and become instantly popular, but in so doing they have forfeited the right to live as a fully functioning adults (seriously, if you follow the path the movie takes, the main kid won't be able to go to college because he's too busy paying off the massive damage he's incurred and he won't get a decent job because he'll be a convicted felon). It's all really really sad, which leads me to a revelation I had during the movie.


At a couple points during the movie, there are flashes of self-awareness with the camera. There's a few montages of people partying, but they just look miserable and cracked out. Like they're not having a good time. And this happened enough during the movie that I thought maybe the film is trying to be anti-partying. And I thought, wow, that's brilliant! It all makes sense - this is a commentary on social status in high school and popularity, etc. etc. But then the movie reverts back to its BOOBS BOOZE DRUGS noise and ends on a completely hollow note that my whole revelation/theory collapses in on itself. Oh well.

Seriously, if you want to see topless women and people doing stupid and mean things to a harmless dog, by all means this is your movie! But if you're looking for a movie filled with decent characters, funny jokes and some semblance of a story, stay far far away from this movie!

Rating: Avoid Like the Plague!

Most Anticipated: The Dark Knight Rises

3. The Dark Knight Rises (PG-13) - Runtime: 164 minutes!
Starring: Christian Bale, Tom Hardy, Anne Hathaway
Director: Christopher Nolan

I've had a week to process this movie. Not that you need much time to process this movie, but I just didn't feel like writing about this movie every time there was an opportunity. It seems trivial after the tragic events in Colorado unfolded. But instead of being angry or frustrated about writing this review, I want to focus on the movie itself and the lasting legacy of Nolan's ambitious trilogy will have. I don't know how long people will keep mentioning the Aurora shootings whenever this movie comes up in discussion, but my hope is that people won't forget the lives lost. I've seen the movie twice (and right before it I've re-watched the previous two films) and so far my conclusion is that this is one of the greatest trilogies of movies ever put to celluloid.

My main concern going into the movie was how was Nolan going to top The Dark Knight and Heath Ledger's memorable take on the Joker? The answer was to go bigger, louder and just more epic in every sense of the word. I don't normally like using epic to describe movies because once you use it too many times, that word seems to lose it's impact. But epic is the only way to describe TDKR. I loved this movie. I loved how it ties back to Batman Begins more so than The Dark Knight. This movie doesn't have three acts, it unfolds in five acts! It's that big and the way Nolan leaves the franchise - Warner Bros. can reboot or keep following the same trajectory and I would be content with either decision (because you know there's going to be at least three more movies in the next twenty years).

Is Bane an equal to the Joker? No, not at all, but they have completely different worldviews - so I'm not going to try and compare them. I would agree that Ledger's performance tops Hardy's - but that's mainly due to the fact that Hardy is restricted somewhat by that gigantic face mask. I was impressed at Nolan providing an equal, if not superior, match to Batman. Bane is bigger, tougher and way smarter. He enters the game when Bruce Wayne/Batman hasn't been paying attention to Gotham and he knows when to strike when his opponents are weak. The movie slowly builds upon this climax of a showdown between Batman and Bain and it's pretty gruesome. It's a pretty gruesome scene to watch and I think it was effective in showing how dire the situation turns once Bane takes over Gotham.

My other real big concern was Anne Hathaway. I wasn't overly fond of the casting choice - I just thought she didn't quite fit. But Hathaway proved me wrong - not only does she bring that witty, I-don't-give-a-damn attitude, she's slick and quite convincing as a cat burglar. Another great choice was Joseph Gordon-Levitt as detective John Blake. SPOILER ALERT! I would absolutely love it if the studio decides to turn his character into Robin/Batman. I think JGL would make a fantastic Batman 2.0 and they wouldn't have to reboot the series at all. There's all sorts of possibilities they could go if they decide to bring him on as the next Batman. My only hope is they find the right director. END OF SPOILERS!

The rest of the cast is solid. Michael Caine will always be Alfred - there is no other in my mind. He's the moral center of this trilogy and he always has very important things to say. Morgan Freeman is great, but he doesn't get as much screen time. Marion Cotillard was perfect for her role. She's always been a solid actress and even though she's won an Oscar and has starred in a few big time movies, I feel like she's under appreciated by the general public. Hopefully this movie helps to turn that around. Much like Michael Caine is Alfred, Gary Oldman is Commissioner Gordon. There's simply no other choice.

Although a lot of the themes running throughout the movie are similar to Batman Begins, you see a lot of fallout and consequences stemming from The Dark Knight. Alfred's decision in the second movie to burn Rachel's letter causes Bruce Wayne to shun the living world and go hide in recluse because he believes he's done all that he could and his life is meaningless without her. I didn't know Wayne was such a pussy! But Commissioner Gordon also has to deal with a lie he's lived with for eight years and it's interesting to see how he deals with propping up a false idol. Who knew there would be real-life parallels with the Jerry Sandusky-Penn State scandal? Not that Nolan and company could have foreseen something like that happening, but it's nonetheless interesting to see fiction and real life cross paths

Overall, this is hands down one of the top three movies of the year so far and I would say this movie is way better than anything that came out last year! If you haven't seen this, stop reading and go now! If you have seen it, watch it again! There's lots of great stuff the second time around that you may have missed! Nolan's Batman trilogy will be one of the greatest and most appreciated trilogies of all time. I'd put it up there with Star Wars and LOTR. Only time will tell how well these movies hold up, but I'm guessing we'll be seeing Nolan's formula copied many, many times over.



Rating: See It! Twice!